I LOVE reading about friendship.
Long before I became a friendship advice columnist I was an avid reader of friendship-themed novels and nonfiction books. I’m still an enthusiastic reader of books that focus on friendship so in this post I’m bringing you some of my old favorites and some new ones, too. My longer reviews of books about friendship are here.
(Books* are listed in alphabetical order by author.)
MWF Seeking BFF
by Rachel Bertsche
I wrote an entire blog post about this clever memoir in January 2012, which still captures lots of SEO traffic on my blog, perhaps because of the post’s title, “Searching for a New Best Friend.” I could relate well to Bertsche’s struggle to make new friends in a new city, and I loved her methodical way about finding new friends and all the research she did on friendships was seamlessly woven in.
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares
I started reading this series in 2001 when it first appeared on the scene. If you love realistic young adult, this series is perfect. The movies are pretty good as well! A favorite quote: “You know what the secret is? It’s so simple. We love one another. We’re nice to one another. Do you know how rare that is?”
Letters for Scarlet: A Novel
by Julie C. Gardner
I have loved Julie Gardner’s blog for a long time. Letters for Scarlet is all about friendship and includes one my favorite storytelling devices–letter writing!
A favorite quote: “And I sometimes wonder if I’m being punished now for the past wrongs I’ve done. For being a part of your life’s worst pain. For being the wrong person at the wrong time. Always the wrong time. Am I rambling? I think I’m rambling.”
A Separate Peace
by John Knowles
A classic. Never gets old.
A favorite quote: “He had never been jealous of me for a second. Now I knew that there never was and never could have been any rivalry between us. I was not of the same quality as he.”
The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women’s True Life Tales of Friendships that Blew Up, Burned Out or Faded Away
edited by Jenny Ofill and Elissa Schappell
I read this one in 2005 and it was excellent. A favorite quote: “Every close friendship offers the same fundamental thrill; someone has singled you out and chosen you, someone who no obligation to do so.”
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship
by Ann Patchett
Cannot recommend enough. An incredible in-depth portrait of a real friendship from the talented writer, Ann Patchett.
A favorite quote: “Whenever I saw her, I felt like I had been living in another country, doing moderately well in another language, and then she showed up speaking English and suddenly I could speak with all the complexity and nuance that I hadn’t realized was gone. With Lucy I was a native speaker.”
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
I’ve LOVED every book and movie in the Harry Potter world, which is about much more than magic or good vs. evil. It’s also at the core a story about the power of friendship.
Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman: I appreciated the honest take in this memoir by best friends Sow and Friedman about the real work it takes to keep an important friendship front and center.
And I can’t forget the two books edited by Jessica Smock and Stephanie Sprenger my editors at The HerStories Project! The HerStories Project: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship
AND My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Losing and Leaving Friends.
[Disclosure! An essay of mine about a breakup with my college best friend and our later reconciliation is in the first of these two books.]
The Myth of You and Me: A Novel
by Leah Stewart
This was another book that I happened to read in 2005, and I absolutely loved it. I have read it twice and elements of it also remind of me of Gardner’s Letters for Scarlet mentioned above.
We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends by Billy Baker
Not unlike lots of nonfiction books these days, Baker’s memoir came out of popular article he wrote. In this case it was from a newspaper, The Boston Globe, and it was originally an article about the crisis of male friendship in middle age. I liked the concrete ideas for making new friends and keeping the ones you have.
Friendship in the Age of Loneliness: An Optimist’s Guide to Connection
by Adam Smiley Poswolsky
Tons of practical tips and real world wisdom for keeping friendship central in our lives, making new friends, and keeping friends.
ASK ME AN ANONYMOUS FRIENDSHIP ADVICE QUESTION ANY TIME!
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*Links are affiliate links to Amazon, which means if you end up ordering a book through my site, I might earn something like .30 cents at no cost to you. You’re so generous!
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33 Responses
I would say my day is made, but it’s much more than that.
Thank you so much, Nina; not only for your support and for including me on this list (!!!), but also for your thoughtful understanding of my intentions in Letters for Scarlet.
You are wonderful and I am grateful.
So happy for you I am tearing up.
So completely my pleasure.
I own “My Other Ex” and “The Friend Who Got Away”, and they have been really helpful books! This is a great list, and I’m going to check out the other books.
Of course I retweeted this list in a heartbeat! 😉
Thank you so much for your support of this post (and others!)
I love Truth and Beauty. “Native speakers” has become my shorthand for those friends who are truly of my heart. This is a great list. A Separate Peace is set at my high school.
Oh wow! In finding the quote I wanted to use I ended up rereading a lot of it. I taught that book as well when I was a 9th grade teacher. I have such a spot for it. So cool (and intense!) that it takes place at your school.
Ummmm…to see my sister’s debut novel mentioned among some of my OTHER favorites of all time…by someone OTHER than me?? Nina…you make me smile. And cry. And think we should hang out!! I have wine if you have an opener 🙂
Actually, I have an opener, decanter and all the glasses. I live in Huntington Beach. Wanna come over? I’ll invite Julie ❤️
I love that you commented here. Thank you! I’ve been reading your sister’s blog since the beginning and I’ve been rooting for her all along.
Great list! I had The Myth of You and Me on my to-read list forever and finally checked it out last December, and I just couldn’t get into it. It sounded like such a “me” book but I just wasn’t connecting with the character. Perhaps I’ll try again.
I totally get it. There are plenty of books people love that I just can’t get into. (One of them is the Ferrante series, which would have been perfect for this list in theory except that I couldn’t get into it.)
I haven’t read Truth and Beauty, but am intrigued because she mentions Lucy a lot in This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. I love all of Allison’s books and can’t wait for In Twenty Years!
Oh Allie, I think you would love it.
Thanks for the great list! I have long had Truth & Beauty sitting on my (virtual) bookshelf. Time to read it!
Yes yes yes! You must!
I certainly love this list. I’ll have to read that Letters For Scarlet book because of my own Scarlet. And Harry Potter is incredible with friendship. As well as A Separate Peace, My Other Ex, and all Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books!
I thought of you while I was reading Julie’s book! Such a great name.
Absolutely love this list. 💕 Thank you for reminding me of some lovely reads and introducing new ones.
Thanks for reading the post! 🙂
What a fun post, Nina! It makes sense that you’d love friendship books 🙂 I am definitely going to check out the Traveling Pants series for me and my daughter, and I’m very excited for Julie’s debut, Letters for Scarlet. I also loved a book not mentioned here, but one I know you enjoyed, Dear Exile, written by two friends.
Yes! I thought about Dear Exile after I wrote the post, but I decided to save it for a post about letters. Julie’s works for that one, too.
Oooh, I’m finally getting back to including fiction in my reading lists again and a few of these are quite intriguing. I’ll check them out. Thank you!
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I think you’d like many of them!
I cannot wait to read Julie’s book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait for you to read it, too! 🙂
I remember reading A Separate Peace in high school. It’s one of those novels I think would benefit from reading with an adult perspective.
Elena Ferrante’s novels have been praised as terrific stories about friendship. Have you read her novels yet? I’ve not, but they’re on my list.
I could not get into the first Ferrante book!
I love this list, Nina. I read Truth and Beauty several years ago and I still revisit passages from time to time.
Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship by Gail Caldwell is a melancholy, but insightful read detailing the friendship between Caroline Knapp and Caldwell.
What a great list! I loved MWF Seeking BFF (and Rachel herself is delightful) and I also adore the Traveling Pants series.
I read Beth Kephart’s memoir Into the Tangle of Friendship years ago and I remember loving that one, too.
Such great recommendations! I love the idea of looking at books about friendships. And perfect choice to include Harry Potter as I think those books are so great at using that theme throughout.
I can’t believe how few of these I’ve read!!! Some of my favorite friendship books that come to mind are… Just as Long as We’re Together by Judy Blume and Pack of Two by Caroline Knapp I believe. I am sure there will be more I will think of as soon as I hit “submit comment.” I love My Other Ex as a book but also b/c I am pretty sure that was how I originally connected with YOU! Can’t wait to read Truth and Beauty. I read Lucy Greely’s Autobiography of a Face in college and it left a deep imprint on me.
A themed book review post – love this, Nina. I’ve added Letters for Scarlet to my Amazon list. Truth and Beauty has been sitting on my bookshelf for years – I picked it up at a Scholastic Book Fair and never opened it. I will now!