Posts about Saying I’m Sorry

 

I'm Sorry

There is no better apologizer I know than my husband. He has a way of diffusing a situation with a heartfelt “I’m sorry” at the exact right time, not years later, but on the spot. Yet, he’s also good at reflecting on a situation and saying I’m sorry months later if he feels he was wrong. He’s good at changing a behavior, too, which is true teshuva (repentance). It takes humility to offer a sincere apology and it takes a similar humility and kindness to give forgiveness. It takes all that and more to change.

I’ve asked Bryan through the years how he’s able to do all that, but I don’t know it’s something he can teach or articulate. Still, I’m inspired to learn to do better. With Yom Kippur (the Jewish day of atonement) beginning tonight, I’ve been reading lots of recent articles on saying I’m sorry and offering forgiveness. I offer some of my favorites here as something of an apologizing bonanza. I’d say, “enjoy!” but the business of saying I’m sorry is a serious one. So instead I’ll say, I hope these help.

The Messy Business of Atonement by Merri Ukraincik in Hevria

Forgiveness Is Not a Gift You Give Yourself by Marjorie Ingall in Tablet

Sorrywatch.com Speaking of Marjorie Ingall, she writes a great blog with Susan McCarthy called Sorry Watch. They analyze apologies in the news, history, and culture.

The Art And Science Of Apologizing by Jacoba Urist in The Atlantic 

The Forgiveness Tour by Susan Shapiro in Salon


For those fasting, I wish you an easy one. Wishing everyone a happy, sweet, successful new year with only good things, or at least tolerable things. (I wrote this a few days ago and scheduled it for Yom Kippur. I’m probably pretty hangry about the time this will go up.)

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Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.

3 Responses

  1. I wish you an easy fast, Nina, and happy new year! Thanks for collecting these. I’m going to check out “Forgiveness Is Not a Gift You Give Yourself” because that concept has always bothered me, so I’m interested to see what she has to say about that.
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  2. I’m very interested in the subject of apologizing and forgiveness …and i believe I forgive rather easily but apologies are HARD. Thanks for the links – and happy fast!

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Hi, I'm Nina

HI, I’M NINA BADZIN. I’m a writer fascinated by the dynamics of friendship, and I’ve been answering anonymous advice questions on the topic since 2014. I now also answer them on my podcast, Dear Nina! I’m a creative writing instructor at ModernWell in Minneapolis, a freelance writer and editor, and an avid reader who reviews 50 books a year. Welcome to my site! 

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Hi, I'm Nina

DEAR NINA: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast and newsletter about the ups and downs of adult friendship. I’m the host, Nina Badzin, a Minneapolis-based writer who accepted a position as a friendship advice columnist in 2014 and never stopped. DEAR NINA, the podcast, started in 2021, and has been referenced in The Wall Street JournalThe Washington PostTime Magazine, The GuardianThe Chicago TribuneThe Minneapolis Star Tribune, and elsewhere

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