A Beautiful Story About Alzheimer’s and Friendship
I read a beautiful story about friends who stood by their best friends suffering with Alzheimer’s. (“Friendship Unshaken by Alzheimer’s” by Claire Ansberry, Wall Street Journal.) It’s a well-known issue that loneliness plagues Alzheimer’s patients. I’ve read other pieces discussing how friends disappear before major symptoms have even started.
Ansberry focused her article on two pairs of friends—one set in their 70s and the other in their early 60s— where the opposite happened. In both cases the friends still spoke frequently or had regular outings. The details of these friendships were inspiring and heartwarming, but a quote from one of those husbands was chilling.
“Gil is grateful for Abbe and a few other friends who have remained close to Judy. She no longer seems to notice that people don’t come around or call, although he does: ‘People have disappointed me. I don’t think they can deal with people so smart and vibrant going away and becoming someone different.'”
I took this as a good reminder that caretakers often bear the brunt of these friendship losses just as hard or even harder than the person who is unwell. It must be heartbreaking to watch a loved one’s world slowly slip away, including their friendships.
I recommend the whole article for a taste of how one might approach these difficult moments in friendship in a different, kinder way.
You can find past “friendship in the media” posts here. I’m starting to do them more often.
ASK ME AN ANONYMOUS FRIENDSHIP ADVICE QUESTION ANY TIME!
JOIN THE DISCUSSION ANY TIME ON THE NEW DEAR NINA FACEBOOK PAGE.
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST: DEAR NINA–CONVERSATIONS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP.
ALL THE FRIENDSHIP TOPICS I’VE ALREADY COVERED SINCE 2014 ARE HERE.
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash
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