The Friendship Apology Prayer
On Yom Kippur, when we’re in synagogue, we put a hand to our hearts in a fist to gently hit our chests ten times throughout the holiday and confess as a group that we have been gossipy, gluttonous, deceitful, insincere and more. I always know that I’m vaguely guilty of some of the long list of sins in the Al Chet prayer, but of course I haven’t engaged in all of the negative actions.
Still, it helps to think of the character traits I’d like to avoid displaying in the next year as I think about the year I just completed.
Inspired by the Al Chet prayer, I’m offering a version related only to friendship. And like we do for Yom Kippur, I’m using “we” not “I” because I’d like to think I’m not alone in my friendship transgressions. I know not everyone reading this follows the Jewish calendar, but it’s always a good time for a fresh start.
FIND THE FRIENDSHIP APOLOGY EPISODE ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN! You can also listen below.
The Friendship Apology Prayer
Dear friends everywhere, today we say we’re sorry:
for the times we didn’t listen, but instead waited for our turns to speak.
for the times we brought the conversation immediately back to ourselves.
for not being quicker to apologize when we said something hurtful, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
for not being quicker to forgive when you said something hurtful, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
for saying the wrong thing–words that seemed funny at first or insightful, but on further reflection embarrassed you, revealed personal information in front of others, or was more mean-spirited than humorous.
for looking at our phones while you were speaking to us, not because we were waiting for an important call or text, but because we have lost all sense of being in the moment.
for not offering to help in a specific way that showed we truly meant it.
for being slow to check in when you were going through a tough time.
for standing on ceremony–waiting for you to check in on us rather than saying we needed help.
for the times we rolled our eyes at your social media posts, but also posted something equally navel gazing, braggy, tone deaf, or whatever induced our initial disdain and judgment.
for getting impatient because you didn’t return a text, email, or call at the same pace we would return messages.
for knowing you were waiting for a response, but letting the message hang because we didn’t consider your feelings, or even worse, we liked to a yield a little power over the situation by making you wait.
for not including you or including too many other people and sacrificing quality time. For finding it hard to get the balance quite right.
for the times we judged ourselves easier than we judged you, giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt, but assuming the worst of you.
For all of these friendship transgressions, we apologize and intend to do better this year.
I’ve written many High Holiday posts over the years. A few of my favorites are linked here.
ASK AN ANONYMOUS QUESTION ANY TIME!
ASK AN ANONYMOUS QUESTION ANY TIME!
SEE PAST EPISODES WITH SHOW NOTES
JOIN THE DEAR NINA FACEBOOK GROUP!
FOLLOW ALONG ON INSTAGRAM
Latest posts by Nina Badzin (see all)
- Best Friends, Friendship Trios, Being More Direct with Friends - June 21, 2024
- The Magic of Camp Friends - June 13, 2024
- The 14-Day Friendship Mindset Cleanse - June 4, 2024
- 5 Questions to Evaluate Your Friendships - May 27, 2024
2 Responses
Excellent
Thank you so much for listening!