This is an entry in my Review of Books About Friendship Series.
There are good nuggets in Social Chemistry: Decoding The Patterns of Human Connection by Marissa King, but this book is more of a business or academic book than the sweeping history or Malcolm Gladwell-esque kind of storytelling I was hoping for. There are many anecdotes about real people, but I can’t say I was too into enough of them.
King provides A LOT of research in this book where she divides social roles into “expansionists,” “brokers,” and “conveners.” Each type gets a chapter. I found myself recognizing my patterns in one, then the other, then the other. She calls our strongest tendency our “social signature.”
Here’s a nice summary from King herself:
“Expansionists favor weak ties, have vast interaction spaces, and expend most of their social effort meeting new people. They also have an easier time ending relationships, because their investments don’t have a lot of reciprocal obligations.”
Brokers have strong ties, but the strength of their network comes from their weak ties. Their interaction spaces typically revolve around social worlds. Brokers spend a good deal of time maintaining weak ties. Without continued investment, the weak ties they do have easily disappear.
Conveners prefer strong ties and devote most of their effort to maintenance. They don’t spend a lot of time exploring multiple social worlds but tend to have deep roots in a few.”
I’m still on my search for my favorite friendship book of all time because I don’t love any are this heavy in citing research. In fairness to King, this book is really more about networking.
ASK ME AN ANONYMOUS FRIENDSHIP ADVICE QUESTION ANY TIME!
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST HERE OR SEARCH FOR “DEAR NINA” ON ANY APP.
JOIN THE DISCUSSION ANY TIME ON THE NEW DEAR NINA FACEBOOK PAGE.
ALL THE FRIENDSHIP TOPICS I’VE ALREADY COVERED SINCE 2014 ARE HERE.
Affiliate links to Amazon or Bookshop.org could result in a small commission to me.
Latest posts by Nina Badzin (see all)
- #125 – The Negativity Bias in Friendships - December 19, 2024
- #124 – Friends Who Criticize You and Two More Dilemmas - December 12, 2024
- #123 – Male-Female Friendships and Liking Friends’ Social Media Posts - December 5, 2024
- #122 – Grieving the End of a Friendship - November 27, 2024
