Social Chemistry: A Book Review

book cover social chemistry with colorful dots

 

This is an entry in my Review of Books About Friendship Series.


There are good nuggets in Social Chemistry: Decoding The Patterns of Human Connection by Marissa King, but this book is more of a business or academic book than the sweeping history or Malcolm Gladwell-esque kind of storytelling I was hoping for. There are many anecdotes about real people, but I can’t say I was too into enough of them.

King provides A LOT of research in this book where she divides social roles into “expansionists,” “brokers,” and “conveners.” Each type gets a chapter. I found myself recognizing my patterns in one, then the other, then the other. She calls our strongest tendency our “social signature.”

Here’s a nice summary from King herself:

Expansionists favor weak ties, have vast interaction spaces, and expend most of their social effort meeting new people. They also have an easier time ending relationships, because their investments don’t have a lot of reciprocal obligations.”

Brokers have strong ties, but the strength of their network comes from their weak ties. Their interaction spaces typically revolve around social worlds. Brokers spend a good deal of time maintaining weak ties. Without continued investment, the weak ties they do have easily disappear.

Conveners prefer strong ties and devote most of their effort to maintenance. They don’t spend a lot of time exploring multiple social worlds but tend to have deep roots in a few.”

I’m still on my search for my favorite friendship book of all time because I don’t love any are this heavy in citing research. In fairness to King, this book is really more about networking.


 

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Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.

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Hi, I'm Nina

HI, I’M NINA BADZIN. I’m a writer fascinated by the dynamics of friendship, and I’ve been answering anonymous advice questions on the topic since 2014. I now also answer them on my podcast, Dear Nina! I’m a creative writing instructor at ModernWell in Minneapolis, a freelance writer and editor, and an avid reader who reviews 50 books a year. Welcome to my site! 

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Hi, I'm Nina

DEAR NINA: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast and newsletter about the ups and downs of adult friendship. I’m the host, Nina Badzin, a Minneapolis-based writer who accepted a position as a friendship advice columnist in 2014 and never stopped. DEAR NINA, the podcast, started in 2021, and has been referenced in The Wall Street JournalThe Washington PostTime Magazine, The GuardianThe Chicago TribuneThe Minneapolis Star Tribune, and elsewhere

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