In my episode with Jill Smokler, formerly THE Scary Mommy of the famous Scary Mommy, and currently the host of the podcast, She’s Got Issues, you’re going to hear about the most common mistakes people make in friendships, and the hard learned lessons. You will also hear an all around honest chat between old college friends. Jill and I went to WashU together! She’s been kind of enough to now have me on her show for a second time. On episode #4 of She’s Got Issues we talked about friendship breakups.
But first a quick reflection . . . Sometimes I have the experience of being a guest on a show, and I notice that I’m a slightly different version of my “podcast self” than when I’m the host. I’m a lot more relaxed! I will need to spend some time figuring out why. I love hosting Dear Nina, and I love talking to guests. But when I’m the guest, I can hear an extra layer of comfort in my voice. Maybe it’s because ultimately I’m not responsible for the outcome of the episode. I don’t know!
- One friendship mistake Jill and I reference, or more accurately, imply, is an all-or-nothing view of friendship–as in friends are either in touch ALL THE TIME or never. My friendship with Jill is a great example of one that falls in the middle. Although we’ve never stayed in constant touch, we have remained in touch one way or another throughout the years, and there’s a special bond there born of longevity, common interests, and mutual respect.
- We covered lots of friendship issues in just under 40 minutes. It amazes me that we managed that because every issue we discussed could be its own episode on Dear Nina, but we managed to get to the heart of important topics efficiently, and we were very real.
- We followed up on a friendship issue of Jill’s; we talked about standards of friendship and not making standards for other people higher than what we require of ourselves; being present in friends’ lives for the GOOD times—not just the bad times; we laughed about how hard it is to ask friends to do simple but SUPER HELPFUL things like leave us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and Spotify; and what it was like when Scary Mommy was in its heyday and Jill had her two books come out one year apart.
- We spent time on regrets Jill has about her college friendships. And we discussed how not every friendship is going to be deep, how it’s never too late to make new friends, and the importance of local friends, which I feel really strongly about and should probably make its own episode on Dear Nina. It was a forthcoming and honest conversation on both sides. And I hope you like it!
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- Hobbies and Friendship: Preparing Early for the Empty Nest and Retirement - October 23, 2024
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