[00:00:00] Julia: There’s actually a deeply evolutionary rooted need for companionship. This goes back to this research I love from Elaine and Arthur Aron, who have this theory called self expansion, which basically says that as humans, we’re all motivated to thrive in our environments.
And one way that we understand how we thrive, one way we expand our knowledge of ourselves and what we’re good at and what our strengths are and what we need to work on is through friendship, is through other people, is through companionship.
[00:00:39] Nina: Welcome to Dear Nina, conversations about friendship. Today’s episode is, as always, about friendship, but it’s actually about more than that this time. It is about the idea of social prescriptions to help people with medical ailments, to help people with emotional ailments. It’s a whole movement that is happening across the medical field, and we’re going to hear more about it from author Julia Hotz, who wrote the Connection Cure. The full name is the Connection Cure: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service, and Belonging. Exercise classes, being out in nature, joining art classes, volunteering, all can lead to belonging and belonging is part of friendship and connection. It’s all so important. I want you to learn more about what social prescribing is, the history of it and how it can help people really of all ages, of course, but there is this certain moment in time age 30 and beyond.
And in different stages, we need it in different ways where your friendships do suddenly change. They’re not the central part of your life that they once were maybe in your youth and in your twenties. We can get very lonely. Being around other people can be an essential piece of your physical and mental health.
Julia Hotz is a solutions focused journalist based in New York. Her stories have appeared in the New York Times, Wired, Scientific American, the Boston Globe, Time, and more. Excited to have her here.
[00:02:04] Nina: Hi, Julia. Welcome to Dear Nina.
[00:02:06] Julia: Thank you so much, Nina. So great to be here.
[00:02:08] Nina: It’s so fun when you’ve been reading someone’s book and following them on social media to finally have them in person and they just pop off the page. And I have to tell you, speaking of the page, your book cover, I actually just recorded a TikTok about it, which you won’t see for a while, but your cover is so perfect. It is an image of what the book is about, which is the connection cure.
[00:02:30] Julia: Thank you so much. Yeah. The cover with this little pill bottle, which I wish I had it with me, but I usually keep a 3d little pill bottle. I ordered a bunch of fake pill bottles on Amazon and have filled them up with little people, little trees, little art easels. I try to custom make them for people whenever I can. But yeah, I think people resonate with that symbol because it’s showing that with social prescribing, we know all these things are good for us. Moving our body, spending time in nature, being with other people. There’s a lot of research supporting this, but social prescribing is about thinking about those things as medicine. So I’m so glad you felt the cover conveyed that.
[00:03:10] Nina: Well, let’s spend a little more time on this definition of social prescribing. Cause I think when people hear the, expression, social prescribing, they are assuming friendship, especially because this is a show about friendship. And then I have an author on who’s talking about social prescribing. It would be absolutely natural to assume that this means go spend time with friends and so much more complicated than that. Will you explain what it is?
[00:03:32] Julia: I’m so glad you said that because I was one of those people when I first heard about this concept, social prescribing, I thought about social in the sense of socialization, like I’m being antisocial. I’m being social. I am doing things with friends and social in the health care context, social in the public health context, social in a science context is really about everything in a person’s environment from where they live to how they cope with stress to what their job is like, whether it fulfills them.
All of these things boil down to what are called your social determinants of health. And we have data showing that actually up to 80 percent of our health is determined by these social factors. In other words, only 20 percent of your health is determined by your clinical care. Everything else is determined by what’s in your environment.
[00:04:23] Nina: That’s amazing. So 80%.
[00:04:25] Julia: 80%. Right. So, so much. What social prescribing then refers to is any non medical community based activity or resource that is prescribed to you to improve your health and well being, your connections. So that could be anything from fresh produce prescription. It could be a prescription for job help.
It could even be a prescription for cash for legal help. But the kinds that my book focuses on are really about the more activity based social prescriptions. for things like art classes and cycling groups and nature excursions, activities that sort of address our psychosocial needs to have joy and meaning and ways to cope with the stresses of being a human being today.
[00:05:12] Nina: This probably won’t surprise you, but when I was in my 20s, my husband and I both go to a naturopath, he does kinesiology and we’ve been doing that for over 20 years. Back in my twenties, one time when he was doing the kinesiology and for people don’t know what that is, that’s like, they hold your arm, I couldn’t even begin to really explain it. He’ll hold different pills and herbs and things over your stomach and like your arm either reacts or it doesn’t and it’s so interesting. Unless you’ve ever experienced it I know it sounds not possible. But there are times you cannot hold your arm and times that you can. It could be like you’re doing it for allergies or for any reason.
And one time his prescription for me, based on the things he was asking while doing the arm thing, was to spend more time writing. Like that was his, the thing I needed, based on that visit. My kids were really little. It was probably, something to do with anxiety and stress and whatever. Didn’t say exercise or more sleep or, you know, everyone always says more sleep, of course you need more sleep. He said more time writing and I’ll never forget that. And I think it’s on par with what you’re talking about here.
[00:06:17] Julia: A hundred percent. First of all, I love that. Props to your chiropractor for doing social prescribing, maybe without knowing that he was doing that.
[00:06:25] Nina: Yeah. Cause this was I’m 47. So this is a while ago now.
[00:06:29] Julia: And that’s just it. I mean, some of your listeners might be hearing this and think, yeah, this is not a new concept.
In fact, the very first chapter is about how these concepts of how our minds and bodies and spirits are so connected is age old. Cultures have been independently preaching these connections for thousands and thousands of years from Buddha to Hippocrates to Rossi’s of Persia. what I think social prescribing aims to do is to try to make this go really mainstream. You might’ve heard of things like lifestyle medicine. Holistic medicine. My book is sold under the alternative medicine category and I’m like, What? What is alternative about this? This is so basic.
[00:07:11] Nina: And you, and you make a point in the book about how we’re talking about 30 different countries. I mean, it’s not like it’s just one place. Doctors everywhere.
[00:07:20] Julia: Exactly. It’s doctors everywhere. It’s doctors in 32 countries and it’s saying, let’s make it so that no matter what your profession is, whether or not you formally identify as a lifestyle medicine specialist, as a holistic healer, whatever it is. Let’s make it so that every doctor, every social worker, every therapist has social prescriptions on their menu.
Not replacing the other options, you know, we still need and love pills and therapies for certain patients, certain conditions, certain times, but let’s make social prescriptions available to everyone.
[00:07:52] Nina: There’s a quote you had towards the beginning. I just want to read before we get into more examples. You said, “This book is guided by real patients lived experiences, but everyone’s lived experience is different. In fact, that’s what social prescribing is all about. Instead of what’s the matter with you, a fixed list of symptoms, it focuses on what matters to you, a set of inherently unique interest needs and life events.”
That just really spoke to me, what’s the matter with you versus what matters to you. And that’s why something like writing would work for me, which is funny to say on a, again, a podcast about friendship because that’s a really solitary activity, other people need other things. I actually am very social person.
So maybe that really is what I needed was like, just to come in a little bit and have some me time. What are some other examples of things that you are in the book or things you’ve heard since even that doctors are out there prescribing?
[00:08:43] Julia: Well, first of all, I want to say, I love that you made that distinction. Cause I think just like all of us, on some days we might be eating more protein rich foods on some meals. It might be more fatty foods on some days it might be more carb centric food. Our connection needs are similar, and you’ve had so many great guests on this podcast talk about introverts and extroverts and sort of our unique connection preferences. The way that for sometimes in our lives or sometimes of the day or whatever it might be, we have these different needs. So even though we might be social people, we still might need social prescriptions. And that’s another thing about the misnomer is these are absolutely applicable for people who are introverts or for people who might say I’m good.
I’m good on the friend count, but I’m just looking for other ways to deal with this thing. So, Really glad you mentioned that about writing and they really run the gamut. I mean, my book focuses on activities involving movement, nature, art, service, and belonging, just because that’s what I kept coming across when I was traveling to write this book around the world.
[00:09:47] Nina: Let’s say those again, cause I think also because the title is called the connection cure, the title is not called social prescribing. These are all ways of connecting and they’re not all necessarily with people, but say them again.
[00:09:58] Julia: We have movement. And so my book talks about prescription for a cycling group and a swimming course. We have nature. We talk there about a fishing prescription, a prescription for a fishing group, as well as a nature excursion. We have art, an art workshop creating the art, but we also have a social prescription that involves receiving or consuming the art.
We have service. Volunteer service, serving animals, serving your community in some way. We talk about a prescription for a volunteering gig at a children’s charity to a farm, a farm based social prescription. And then finally we have belonging. You might be thinking, well, don’t all of these involve elements of belonging, right?
By the fact that all of these social prescriptions are done in groups, right? You’d be right, but there are some social prescriptions that are just focused on belonging, Groups focused on having conversations that stimulate belonging. Groups focused on activities like maybe cooking or, meal sharing that might not explicitly fit with movement, nature, art, or service, but do involve an element of, connecting with a group more meaningfully, intentionally, and deeply.
[00:11:12] Nina: And there has to be a group of people. I mean, I just know it from writing about friendship for 10 years that actually do need friendship as a prescription. As you talk about in your book, and we both know so well from the research, that the loneliness percentages, it is an epidemic.
So many people feel lonely. It doesn’t mean they’re alone, but they feel lonely, which you cover really nicely too. I end every show by saying when our friendships are going well, we are happier all around. And I think that’s so true. That first part, when our friendships are going well, is kind of what my whole body of work is about. It isn’t always that easy for our friendships to be going well, we get in our own way. And a big one, and I’d love to hear you talk more about your experience of this, is the inability to open up sometimes. So we have these friends, but we’re not necessarily connecting with them. And you did a exercise in New York. Yeah. You’ll know what I’m talking about.
[00:12:02] Julia: Skip the small talk was the name of the group. First of all, I think you’re absolutely right that, you know, there was actually a clip on TikTok that went viral about a psychiatrist saying, I wish I could just prescribe friendship. And it was like his most viral, most watched video, because I think that really resonates with health workers too. They get patients coming in with pretty sound physical health, nothing clear that they should be prescribing other than an opportunity for this person to maybe make a friend. So you’re absolutely right.
Sometimes we do that through the lens of groups for movement and nature. But what groups like skip the small talk do is they strip away all that. They invite groups of strangers to get together and ask one another really deep digging questions informed by research suggesting that we humans are all motivated to open up.
When we do that, when we have the opportunity to open up, to feel heard by another person, we feel better. there’s actually a deeply evolutionary rooted need for companionship. This goes back to this research I love from Elaine and Arthur Aron, who have this theory called self expansion, which basically says that as humans, we’re all motivated to thrive in our environments.
And one way that we understand how we thrive, one way we expand our knowledge of ourselves and what we’re good at and what our strengths are and what we need to work on is through friendship, is through other people, is through companionship. what this group Skip the Small Talk does is tries to stimulate that with deep digging questions like, in what way are you different from the person that you were five years ago. What are you most proud of? What’s one thing about your childhood that you wish you could change? some listeners might hear that and they might be thinking, Oh my gosh, that sounds like therapy.
[00:13:57] Nina: It’s like a lot. It can be. It can be a lot.There was a rule in that group that I really appreciated. Yeah. It’s like you read my mind when you were writing it or when the people made the rules, I love the rule that you cannot ask for someone’s phone number. It’s more like skill building than friend making and you need these skills to make deeper friendships. So it’s almost like you could take these skills and take them into people you already know. Because there’s like, there’s meeting people and there’s making friends and those are two separate things.
You have to meet people before you can make friends. People do have potential friends in their lives already based on the things they’re already doing. It’s just that they don’t know how to connect. So I love this skill building concept. That’s really what it is. You’re building a skill of how to open up, but it’s not necessarily to walk away from this activity with friends, which I think is great because that would be a lot of pressure if you like had to make a friend right now, right now you’re going to make a friend.
[00:14:47] Julia: Oh, I think you’re so right about that. I mean, that’s why I went. Okay. I talk about this pretty candidly in the book, you know, I’m 31. I’m at a point in my life where I love my friendships. I cherish my friendships and I feel that they’re changing. And that’s been really, really hard to deal with. to your point, I wanted to build the skill of being able to talk about that.
What I love also about skip the small talk, what the founder calls it is a vulnerability workout. It’s a vulnerability gym. It’s true that some people who go there may really, really hit it off with a person. They may exchange numbers. You’re allowed to give your number. You’re just not allowed to ask for your number.
[00:15:27] Nina: No, that’s nice. I like that. Although the giving of it still, I get really like nitty gritty into the details here. There is then for sure, there’s going to be that pressure of okay, do I have to call this person? Are they going to feel bad if I don’t, but maybe you’ll never see them again.
[00:15:41] Julia: Exactly. It’s another descriptor of this group is it’s like speed dating without the dating. But the idea is it’s a no pressure environment. I think there are some people who come to that group looking for friends who do make friends. And I think there are people like me who are using it as an opportunity to practice opening up, to practice the skills of belonging and companionship.
with a sort of neutral party. And based on this need that actually all of us really do want to open up when it is a controlled environment, which skip the small talk is as well as other groups that have had similar initiatives. I think it really speaks to this growing need to want to have deeper connections with people who.
Yeah. Might be outside of your primary friend group.
[00:16:26] Nina: Yes, let’s talk more about your age and stage, which I love having somebody in a different age and stage and I haven’t done necessarily a lot of specific age work because I feel like a lot of my episodes actually do apply to all people and this one will too But this idea that in your early 30s, there’s a change happening in your friendship. you started talking about that, but let’s talk about that a little more. Like what are those factors?
[00:16:47] Julia: I love talking about it because it’s the part of my book that I think people who’ve read it, they said, Oh my gosh, I feel this way. And no one’s really articulated it. It’s kind of like an elephant in the room. And I think the elephant is that when you’re a woman and you get to be 30, many people are starting to find partners.
Settle down with them, maybe start a family, maybe move out of the city where you spent most of your twenties, or even not a city, the place where you spent most of your twenties. And for me, and I think for a lot of people in their twenties, like friendship is kind of the center of your world. It’s what you take for granted.
But you know, on your Friday and Saturday night. It’s, you have that sort of base of friendship there. It’s who you’re telling your day to. It’s who you’re talking to about making big life decisions. I think as you get to be 30, that role shifts a bit because many people are now relying on their partners for that role.
That’s who they’re telling about their day. That’s who they’re spending their Friday, Saturday nights with. That’s who they’re thinking about their future with, and maybe increasingly that’s who they’re starting to think about having another sort of family and central group and life with, and I think that’s really hard.
I was hard for me. It just felt like, wow, nobody really prepared me for it. And in some ways it feels like such a trivial problem. But on the other hand, the more that I started talking about it. And when I wrote about it, I had so many people saying yes, this is exactly how I felt. And by the way, I don’t think it’s also just like a single versus partnered thing.
I think people in partnerships also sort of feel this change. And yeah. Oh my gosh. When did my partner get to be the center of my world? When did this change happen? It feels like FOMO almost. Everyone’s Going and hanging out together without me and yeah, no one’s prepared for it, but it it’s painful
[00:18:37] Nina: So there’s three issues. There’s the moving, having to maybe start over because you moved or because people really close to you have moved, Partnered up or not. And then there’s kids or not. You can be single And you can have friends who are married or partnered up in some way. I think the biggest difference is kids are no kids in terms of how people are spending their time.
At least from what I hear, I mean, and, and see out there that I think that is where time gets squeezed in a different way. And it’s easy to feel kind of left behind or like, can’t really do Sunday brunch anymore kind of thing. Cause somebody is off to the baseball game or, you know, to the little league.
Both people have to change, like the people who have the kids have to change their schedule and the people who are used to being on that same schedule have to find other people to fill those time slots.
[00:19:21] Julia: Absolutely. That’s so great you said that. That’s another transition. I personally am not quite there yet. One of my best friends just had a baby, but I can totally anticipate that. I think that’s just it. No matter whether it’s the change of partnership or moving or kids or no kids, it’s like, This feeling that life is moving on and all these main characters who are there with you are being recast.
[00:19:45] Nina: Yes, that’s a good way of saying it. And you know that study. I know you know it because you and I are both among a group of people always quoting the same studies about your friendships changing every seven years and that’s Yes! It really is. When you think about like, who were you really close to seven years ago?
It doesn’t mean you drop all your friends. People really misunderstand that. It’s not like every seven years you’re like wiping the slate clean. Although actually I do know a few people who seem to do that, but that’s, I think more of a pathological like friend dumper. That’s not, that’s not normal.
That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about life happens and changes and you move and people move. And so every seven years, I mean, seven years is like high school plus and it’s a lot of time. Actually, even in adult life and the people you spend the most time with that you text the most, that you call first, that call first may be someone different every seven years.
[00:20:32] Julia: Yes.
[00:20:33] Nina: Yes.
[00:20:34] Julia: I love that study. And I love the way that you and, you know, journalists like Anna Goldfarb have talked about it where at first, like that sounds really harsh and sad, but it is actually kind of beautiful that all of these things we’ve talked about. you know, getting older, finding a partner, having children moving.
These are all beautiful life transitions to be celebrated. And the solution is not to tell everyone they’re not allowed to move. They’re not allowed to have partners, not allowed to have kids. We need to stay this way forever. It’s just to find ways to cope with those changes and really, really be candid about this instead of pretending like it’s not happening, you know, I think that’s the weirdest thing. I have this shrine in my room of all these photos of different friends over the years, peak memories in my twenties, and I actually haven’t hung it up yet in this new apartment. But in my old apartment, I’ve always had it.
And it’s like a reminder for me, Oh yeah, I need to text this person. Their birthday is coming up or they have that big job interview. Let me see what’s in with them. And over time, as that shrine has traveled with me from apartment to apartment, I’ve realized Oh, my gosh, I actually don’t know anything about this person anymore.
They were once such a central person in my life. now I feel like so much time has passed. They’ve changed. I’ve changed. And the friendship starts to feel almost like I say in my book, like a corporate listserv, we wish each other happy birthday. Maybe we say, I miss you every once in a while, it’s not like the stuff of friendship that it once was,
[00:22:03] Nina: I loved how you described that a corporate listserv and I nodded and kind of laughed in the book, but it’s really true and I, it might have begun that feeling of the corporate listserv. I wonder if it started with Facebook and sort of muddying the idea of what a friend is. Even birthdays on Facebook now are kind of a thing of the past. I mean, I occasionally like, we’ll see that through my feed and I’ll be like, Oh, it’s so and so’s birthday. And I’ll wish them a happy birthday once upon a time. And it’s like every day I would log onto Facebook and be like, whose birthday is it now? Even that’s not special anymore. It’s sort of interesting. Yeah. Back to the corporate listserv, it does feel that way. This is what one does on one’s birthday. I don’t know.
[00:22:41] Julia: yeah, trust me, I’m very pro birthdays. I’m very pro celebrating birthdays. I always, when people are like, Oh, I don’t know if I want to celebrate my birthday this year. I’m like, I don’t know. No, no, it’s not for you. It’s for all the people who love you. That’s nice. I love that. Give us a chance to gather. No matter what age you are, they are this significant reminder of a person and the significance they held in your life.
But I do think you’re right that as we get older, maybe sometimes that’s the only time in which we’re really doing the stuff of friendship with that person. that comes back to that seven year shedding thing. At what point do you say like, does this person really know what’s going on in my life? Do I really know what’s going on in their life? Are we just kind of going through the motions or it’s time to shed them? I don’t know.
[00:23:25] Nina: I think those kinds of relationships are fine as long as you have closer ones in your life. Yeah. That’s like where I come down on that. There’s no issue to me on having like really casual, acquaintances that really were good friends at one point, but now you don’t live in the same place.
Fine. No one needs to get worked up about that. I think people do unnecessarily. The time to get worked up about it is in these moments where you feel you don’t have anyone you belong with. You don’t have anyone who would like notice if you didn’t text or call for two months. And that is where maybe a social prescription for more friend connecting would be appropriate for somebody.
[00:23:59] Julia: Absolutely. You know, this is making me think about how like for most of our lives, we sort of have built in mechanisms to make friendships. When we’re kids, we have school and maybe we go to university. Then, you know, maybe our first workplaces, like we’re moved to a new city and we’re really primed and in a position to want to make friendships.
But as you get older, those venues are fewer and far in between. And especially for meeting people who are not like you, it’s really rare. And I just remember one chapter from the book looks at this cycling prescription. And by the way, this was a prescription not for anybody who was, overtly struggling with loneliness.
They were prescribed cycling to deal with whether it was type two diabetes or being overweight, some sort of physical health condition. They were prescribed this cycling group. What one of the women said to me was, I would have never imagined that I’d develop such strong friendships with these people because I wouldn’t have met them in any other circumstance.
She said to me, you know, I work in the non profit sector, but Frank here is, a trucker, Pam works in schools, and Pete’s a plumber, and David makes toilets, I think that’s really beautiful, because as we get older, it gets harder to make sense of it more diverse friendships.
[00:25:15] Nina: It’s so true. And I’m glad to hear that the cycling ended up with some socializing, even though that wasn’t the purpose of it. When people come to me to talk about making friends, I usually advise things that involve talking. You know, sometimes you’ll read these articles and they’re like, go to a yoga class.
And I’m like, who’s making friends in a yoga class? Like you do not say that speak in yoga. Yeah. Not really. Unless the class has some element of sharing and stuff, I try to encourage people to do things where you’re learning something new and where everyone’s learning something new. So I don’t know if that’s crocheting or playing mahjong or sport pickleball.
Pickleball is so popular because you can talk during pickleball. I’m a big tennis player. You cannot talk as much during tennis because you are so far apart. If you’re old like me, you’re so far apart. You cannot hear, Really getting down to the nitty gritty of what fosters conversation and what doesn’t and enjoying the activity itself is really number one. Cause if nothing else you at least have that or learning a new skill, you know, now you’ve learned something. Okay. So you didn’t make a friend, but you learned something, you got out of the house and it’s a step.
[00:26:14] Julia: Exactly. And I think that’s so good for so many reasons. Like number one, yeah. Even if you don’t jive with the fellow people, you’re still doing something you love. I also think for a lot of people, let’s say they were struggling with loneliness or let’s say the thing that they really did need to do was make more or stronger friendships. For some people, a sort of wagging finger, like you need to go out and make friends. This approach wouldn’t jive well, particularly for introverts.
When it’s through the inactivity, it kind of reminds me of when you have kids and you’re trying to get them to eat more vegetables. So you sneak it into something that looks like a brownie. that is, I think what some of these social prescriptions do. Yes. The activity is healthy.
[00:26:54] Nina: That’s the perfect analogy.
[00:26:56] Julia: The activity is healthy, but really it’s about the socialization it brings. And I think for a lot of these groups. The cycling is a great example. There’s a swimming prescription. What happens is they end up bonding so hard through this group, not necessarily through talking during the activity, but meeting up after they’ll like have tea after then maybe they’ll organize their own independent bike rides and swims even after the prescription is over.
I think that is a testament to how Just having something in common with someone, which the research tells us is a really big, important factor in friendships, a feeling that you have things in common. I think that’s also what social prescriptions can do.
[00:27:37] Nina: I love that. And the activity can be a thing in common to your point. You can have nothing else in common, but you have that thing. And I do want to defend tennis for a second, because I kind of made it sound like you can’t make friends. I made all my young friends in tennis. I have a bunch of friends in their thirties, some even close to your age, and it Only met them through tennis.
And that is the thing we have other things in common too. Cause a lot of us live near each other, but you know, I have a kid in college. So it’s really fun to have those relationships that I would never have had otherwise. And that’s only been in the past few years.
And I was not looking for friends. I didn’t necessarily need any, but I like to always be open, but it wasn’t literally during the play. It’s like, like you said, it was the after. The before being nervous for a match being like, Oh, do we like that coach? Do we not like that coach? You know, you have that stuff to talk about.
[00:28:21] Julia: I love that. Oh, that makes me so happy. And it also makes me curious about why is that not more common? Why do we always think that our friendships need to be the same age as us? I think it’s so beautiful and wonderful when you have, I don’t want to call your friendship an intergenerational friendship.
That sounds like a stretch, but a 10 year difference, that is interesting and significant and really, really beneficial. The book talks about a friendship made between a 92 year old conservative veteran and liberal 40 something year old dad of young kids. These two would have never been in the same circles had they not had this social prescription.
But what he said, Ryan, the younger, Gentleman in this friendship said to me was, I am so, so grateful for this because sometimes I just can’t stand hearing what everyone who agrees with me has to say about anything.
[00:29:18] Nina: Yes. The danger of the echo chamber. I mean, it’s a good place to kind of wrap up because I was going to ask you, but you kind of answered it like what was one of your favorite and not saying that that was your favorite necessarily, but unexpected moments to come out of your research.
Maybe that was one of them is the value of that age difference and background difference. And I want to give you a chance to answer another one or an unusual social prescription that I love the fishing one was a great one. Is there another one that you didn’t get to say?
[00:29:46] Julia: Ooh, yeah. I mean, there’s so many, and I really tried in the book to showcase a wide variety of examples because as you know, better than anyone, friendship looks so different depending on who you are, depending on what you’re seeking from it. One that I think my favorite chapter in the book is about this dementia care farm where everybody who is working on this farm together has dementia. They’re prescribed a spot to work on this farm. And I loved it because I mean, even the word dementia, it means literally being out of one’s mind.
And I think culturally we think about people with dementia, as sort of being, I hate to say it, but like lost causes in some way, you know, you can’t drive, you have a hard time maybe holding a conversation and not repeating yourself. What I love about this environment is that friendship doesn’t look like remembering what I told you last week or even this morning. It looks like finding little ways to laugh and enjoy the time you spend together in the moment. It’s like this extreme presence that I haven’t seen really anywhere else. I loved that. And I think about them often as a model of, what I want to do when I get older, like send me to the farm.
But also of just putting down my researcher journalist, skeptic cap for a second and appreciating the beauty that simply sharing an activity together can have for people. I think at the very least, Even if at the end of the day, your social prescription isn’t bringing you your all time best friend. Although I will say that there are some people that’s true for. I think the opportunity to connect with people on some level is just really, really important.
[00:31:28] Nina: That’s beautiful. Thank you so much. And I know people can find a lot of your work and information about the book at socialprescribing.co and I’ll have all your social media in the show notes too. Julia Hotz. I just love that name so much. I’m saying it right. so much. Bye. Correct.
[00:31:43] Julia: You are saying it right.
[00:31:44] Nina: The book is The Connection Cure and go check out the website, socialprescribing.co. Julia have a great week and everything else until I see you again on social media.
[00:31:54] Julia: Thank you so much, Nina. So great to finally meet you. Love everything you do. Thanks for having me on.
[00:32:00] Nina: And listeners, come back next week when our friendships are going well, we are happier all around. Bye.
