Sackheim Family Photo, 1979
Since my mom has always been passionate about her jobs and her hobbies, it’s fitting that she agreed to write a post for my blog’s hobbies and habits series.
When I think of my parents, I see the theater, the symphony, and their love of art from modern to tribal. (There’s a six foot-tall giraffe in my parents’ entryway and scary masks in the family room). I see their many excursions, trips you’d never find me on like observing the polar bear migration in Manitoba. I also think of the many greyhounds they’ve saved. And then there’s the activities they each pursue alone, too many to list here.
Instead of having my mom discuss her many hobbies, however, I asked her to address the issue of knowing what you want to “be when you grow up.” I know parents who want something in addition to raising their kids, or people who want a career change, but won’t make a move unless the PERFECT thing comes along. My mom is an excellent example of not waiting for the exact right moment or the ideal opportunity. Her story is about creating opportunity and making the best of the skills you already have as you feel your way to the next venture. If you’re feeling the need for a change, I hope she’ll inspire you.
What do I Want to be When I Grow up?
by Kathy Sackheim
I used to say I’d be a spy when I grew up. I even majored in Spanish and minored in Russian at Northwestern with that idea in mind. Getting married at twenty, however, and having my first child at twenty-three put a damper on the spy plan. It was clear by then I was not going to have an all-encompassing career, but because my parents had hobbies they were passionate about (my mother was an artist, and my father played the classical clarinet), I knew I had to have something in my life that did not include my husband and children.
I didn’t have a master plan. Opportunities presented themselves, and I pursued them. Having a husband, Ron, who encouraged me or at least didn’t get in the way was helpful. I grew and developed as I stumbled on each new avocation.
As a lark I took classes in handwriting analysis, which I loved. It was visual, and I gained insight into people. After successfully analyzing the script of salespeople in Ron’s company, I decided to market my handwriting analysis service as an additional pre-employment test. I didn’t know what I was doing when I started my business, but I learned on the job, a recurring theme in my life.
I gave speeches to promote my new company, did my own PR (appeared on TV and radio), made cold calls and experienced plenty of rejection. Nevertheless, I kept moving forward. At one point I got a call from a management professor inviting me to address an industrial psychologist’s conference on employment testing. I didn’t think it went well.
Apparently my perceptions were off because the same professor asked if I would co-write an article about handwriting analysis for a professional personnel journal. Shortly after it was published, we got a letter from an academic publishing house asking us to expand the article into a book. The professor didn’t have time and told me to go for it. The book was published in 1990 and even has an Amazon page.
Nina, my youngest, entered high school soon after the book came out, and by then I needed something less solitary and
In front of Winnetka Stitchery
more creative. I approached the owner of my favorite needlepoint shop and started chatting with her about retirement plans. She was tired and ready to sell, and so I bought the store.
Although I loved working with the colors and textures of the threads, I didn’t know about managing employees, working with suppliers or dealing with an occasional disgruntled customer. Once again I learned on the job. I enjoyed the friendship of my staff and many customers, but by 2005 it didn’t make sense to work six days a week. After thirteen years, I closed the store and yet still needed something else in my life.
It turned out that a close friend was also looking for another activity as well. We decided on a “little” art-to-wear business, which turned into an exciting wearable art show twice a year where we represent about forty clothing, accessory and jewelry artists from across the U.S. This little thing has evolved into a twelve-month project.
I am not tied to any one pursuit. Circumstances change and I have changed. Now that I am a grown-up I give myself permission to try a new venture if an activity has run its course. There is one rule, however. The hobby/business has to be stimulating and challenging enough so that I can immerse myself in an alternate universe-and completely escape from the stress of my daily life. If I don’t feel passionate about it-why bother. That is the valuable lesson I learned from my parents.
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Aren’t you inspired? I love my mom’s attitude of just jumping into something, or at least allowing yourself to explore new paths at any point.
Is there a new hobby, job, or activity you’ve been wanting to try? A path you’ve been ignoring because it’s so different from what you’ve done in the past? Let’s discuss!
Great advice, fantastic perspective and a pretty cool mom!
it is really a nice relationship between your mother
An optimistics thought about life,You are so lucky!
Yes- I am actually very inspired.
I am a college student getting my associates after next semester.
I have been feeling the pressures of trying to “decide a major.”
I am a very diverse person, I love everything, will try anything, and have a lot to offer.
It is hard to ask me to choose one aspect of myself and go with it…
Do to my personality I can do anything I want, but that is part of my down fall.
I have no clue what I want to do or study to get where I want to sort of head towards.
I am a very spiritual person and I want that to be in my life in a big way, but their aren’t colleges that study that type of stuff.
I am applying to a college up in Vermont which has a really great environment.
I have a good feeling it will bring forth some amazing experiences and I hope they help me will trying to find my path.
I want to do something fulfilling in purpose, not money; I could care less about how much it really pays.
In a society where money is everything, and we need it to support ourselves.
I don’t really have any money… and college costs money.
Loans are extremely intimidating, when you look at how much you’ll be owing I feel like I am selling my soul.
I know that you may not ‘know me’, but I thought I could share my concerns with someone who has been out there and maybe get some feed back.
-Jasmine.
Jasmine-Times are so different now than when I was your age, but here are my thoughts: You need to finish college-even if it means taking a loan. You should probably pick a career choice that makes your spirit soar and at the same time provides an income so you can pay pack the loan. Having said that, no one can work all of the time. Once you start working-you need to pursue other interests in your down time. One of those activities may lead to a different career path somewhere down the line. The point is-you don’t have to do just one thing for the rest of your life. And the skills that you learn in one position can be applied to the next thing you do.
Kathy
I have spent the past couple months telling myself I can’t let the fear of the unknown stop me. I need to take a leap of faith that I will find where I belong.
Thank You. I really appreciate the time you took to reply to my comment.
Awesome Post and great mom! I love how she just went for things and didn’t second guess herself! Thanks so much for sharing!
Creating opportunity is the name of the game! Be open and willing to try, leap and the net will appear. Thanks for sharing this very optimistic attitude within your family, it is very inspiring!
What a fabulous example of a mom you have. As a stay-at-home mom that is a continuous struggle to find ways to find depth and meaning in my life other than my beautiful yet exhausting kiddos, she is inspiring. So many of us struggle to find the one thing we will do, but I love your mom’s example of reinventing oneself many times throughout your life as long as you are passionate about what you are doing.
“I didn’t have a master plan. Opportunities presented themselves, and I pursued them.”
Beautiful. That and the recurring theme of learning on the job. Too much is planned out these days. Perhaps that could be a mission statement! Aloha.
Seriously, coming back again, because I love your mom’s post. This line is so perfect. “Circumstances change and I have changed.” She made her own opportunity that I love that it’s so inspiring. So love that she/you were Freshly Pressed. Congrats to you both on this wonderful post.
Wow, seriously inspiring. I also have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, but after your mom’s guest post, I’m more ok with that than ever! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, and congrats to your mom for following life where it took her!
Megan
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MadebyMegShop
Reblogged this on i won't worry my life away.
What a post, what a story, very inspiring. Thank you for sharing
Great post! I suppose this is the way life works out most of the time anyway. How many of us actually grow up in the careers, in the lives we had planned for ourselves at the beginning? Now I’m wondering if it’s only just some form of deluded arrogance how we make plans and decide to adamantly stick to them even when it’s virtually impossible to. Believing in some form of control and certainty in a world that’s far from that, maybe?
I agree completely. I think you picked up on the salient point of the post. There is an old Yiddish saying that goes something like- “Man plans and God laughs” That pretty much says it all.
Kathy
Nice blog dear))) Thanks
Your Mom wrote an excellent post, especially her comment about not being tied to one particular thing. I will have to say though, I about fell off my chair when she mentioned to her store. I’d shopped there many times! I’m not at all surprised that she is successful so very often after having experienced her passions for myself.
She forgot to mention that besides her passion, there was generosity of time and ideas. One time I couldn’t find what I needed. Whoever waited on me that day offered to call around and see if another shop had it. She called a competitor, found it, and had them hold it for me. It was a culture at that store, a mindset of making sure the customer could get what they needed to do their needlework.
Nancy
Nancy,
I am delighted we helped you find what you needed. My most memorable request was when a customer asked the correct color of a penguin’s eyes for a Christmas ornament. I called the director of the seabird house at the Lincoln Park Zoo. I was asked,”what species of penguin?” The only thing I could manage to say was, “your basic Walt Disney variety”. Who knew there was more than one kind of penguin. Anyway, I was told copper. The customer was ecstatic to get the information; we both had a good laugh, We liked to think we were a full service organization trying our very best to make our customers happy.
Dear Nina, is there a new path you’ve been ignoring because it’s so different from what you’ve done in the past? the answer is yes! I graduated in Economics after delivering my fourth child. I taught in university until my sixth one was born. Now that my seventh is two years old I left univeristy and spend my life blogging on my new experience as a 39 years old mother in law (my first daughter just got married), writing books, hoping that one day they will be published and praying that my writings will give a positive contribution to the world of tomorrow…www.39motherofthebride.com.
What a wise lady your mum is! Life is an adventure with so many fascinating subjects to explore, it is important to find your passion and pursue it! Your grandparents sound great too. Shows how we need to pass on the wisdom for future generations.
Nice blog dear like it very much…..
Thanks for sharing your mom with us! I love the flow of her life – a lesson for all of us.
Thanks.
Your mom sounds like quite the gal, Nina. I commend her ability to shift her talents according to her surroundings. That is a skill we ALL need!
OMG I think I want your mother’s life! I have a million ideas floating around in my head all the time. I want to sculpt, write, sew, act, and sometimes I think about running a home health care business. I know. It’s a very mixed list of dreams. But there are times when I feel like I could have it all! After reading this blog, I’m having that feeling again
I think my mom would say, start with one and see where it takes you!