A huge perk of the blogging world is the relationships we writers form with each other. In the realm of online friendships, writers tend to jump quickly from “first base.” If we feel a connection, we may transition within weeks from commenting on each other’s blogs, to becoming Facebook friends on our personal pages, to writing private messages on Facebook or Twitter, to exchanging long and personal emails and maybe even texts. Texts with their ease, intimacy, and shorthand are like going all the way as far as online friendships go.
If texts are the home run, then meeting in person is like . . . I don’t know. This analogy is getting silly. But meeting in person is a big deal. It’s usually fantastic because it’s like having a long awaited get together with not only a friend, but a colleague who can understand this strange and ever-changing writing arena we bloggers love and sometimes don’t love depending on the day.
In the 4.5 years I’ve been blogging, I’ve only been to one blog conference, which was a local, one-day affair. It was fun, but I haven’t had the experience of bigger gatherings like BlogHer or other conferences with the rumored all-night parties and gabfests. I considered going to BlogHer this year (because yeah, I’d be up for some of the aforementioned parties with my fellow bloggers), but since I’m going on a 10-day women’s trip to Israel in the fall, the money and hours dedicated to “me time” on the road are used up and then some for 2015.
For one reason or another it’s just never worked out for me to attend a big blogging conference, which means the best chance for me to meet other bloggers is when people call me if they’re coming to Minneapolis or if I set up meetings ahead of time in the rare instances when I leave the state.
All of this is on my mind because a long-time blogging friend of mine, Atlanta-based Allie Smith, is on her 6th
annual cross country road trip with her four children. This year they were making a stop in Minneapolis and you better believe I made sure to arrange my day around seeing her, even if just for a quick visit.
Here’s what I LOVE about meeting my writing friends in person: These women know me, and I know them. (And yes, every writing friend I’ve met so far in person has been a woman.) I realize we don’t know everything about each other, but the fact that we coexist in this universe of blogging that we’ve figured out together along the way has been hugely bonding, even if we’re only meeting in person for the first time.
My meeting with Allie went much like other such get togethers I’ve had in the past. We were not terribly dressed up (because real life is not the same as a conference and certainly not the same as our touched up avatars). I was meeting a friend for a walk after my time with Allie, and honestly my summer days are so jam-packed that I didn’t have time to worry about changing clothes or futzing with my air-dried hair if I wanted to get my kids to camp and get to Allie’s hotel on time. And I love that I did not care. Allie and I have exchanged emails about insecurities about our careers and other personal things that matter so much more than our hair.
The other thing that went so well was the way we were able to plop down on a bench together while watching her kids climb through an indoor maze thingy and start talking as if we’d met 1000 times already. Because in a way, we have “met” many times before, on our blogs and through our other online communications. We didn’t have a lot of time, so we cut right to the chase. No small talk. We got real immediately and just talked. It was just what I needed, and I hope it filled her up a bit, too.
Every time I question the time and energy I’ve put into blogging, I realize that the connections I’ve made have enriched my life tremendously. My favorite part of blogging is without a doubt the other bloggers I’ve come to consider real friends. Even if there’s always a screen between us, I cherish those relationships. And if we can actually meet in person? Even better! If you’re coming to Minneapolis, let me know! I will bend over backwards to relish 30 minutes of your time.
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30 Responses
This post and photo make me so happy! I also love meeting bloggers in person, and every single one I’ve met is as lovely as she is online. You and Allie are two of my favorites; it’s so nice to see you together.
Dana recently posted..The moments in between
I hope we get to meet one day, Dana!
HI. It’s Elly Z’s friend and fellow blogger/writer – Caryn. The world is a small place. A few weeks ago I stumbled upon your friend Allie’s blog and commented on her post because I saw she was headed to Minneapolis. Though I’ve been gone 10+ years, I still feel like it’s home. I also really identify with this post because you have articulated the blogging relationship extremely well. I have a close friend that knows my thought process, writing style and family adventures because we’ve been “working together” in the bloggers world for over a year now. Have a great summer. I hope to meet you when I come to MN.
Caryn recently posted..25 Tips for a Healthy Mind & Body
Caryn! We have to meet next time you’re in town!
Your analogy at the beginning of this post made me laugh! It seems like making blogger friends takes a bit of time and patience (like anything, I guess) but the payoff seems worth it!
Tara Borin recently posted..I Am Enough
I think the payoff really is worth it. Thanks for reading, Tara!
I could not love this any more. So awesome.
Kristen recently posted..Arches and Ankles
Thank you!
“If texts are the home run, then meeting in person is like . . . I don’t know.” Love that! I’ve never been to a blogging conference but used to think about it. Now I’m content with meeting a few dear online friends (most recently, the lovely ladies I got to know around the same time as you, Kristen & Lindsey) in person, and I also enjoyed the broader writing conference I went to this year, where I met up with friend-writers, ran into a few writers I didn’t even know were going, and was introduced to many more.
I bookmarked Allie’s website for reading later; it will be nice to virtual-meet a writer in the Atlanta area now that we’re moving there next month!
Justine recently posted..hasty pudding
Oh for sure you two need to get together!
Yay! I “met” Allie last year via blogging and I’m so happy you guys connected. Making connections that turn into friendships is definitely one of my favorite things about blogging as well. Such a cute picture of you guys! (Hi Allie!!)
Hallie Sawyer recently posted..Friday Reads
I can’t believe we missed our opportunity, Hallie! At least you were off somewhere fabulous.
Oh Nina! I love this post. Thank you so much for writing it. And thank you for saying we were not terribly dressed up:). You caught met me in rain soaked road warrior momma mode:) I swear – I usually only wear sneakers when I’m working out, but I injured my foot while running and it was hurting!
It was no nice to chat with a peer – and yes, it was as if we’d met many times before. That’s the BEST thing about this blogging odyssey, the kick-ass women I’ve met, on-line and in person. When I get back, I’ll write a similar post – because it was really funny trying to explain to my children just who you (and Mimi, yesterday) are! Especially given my strict on-line policies for them.
Allie, I had to do the same thing with my kids about meeting you and explaining it was ok even though they should never agree to meet someone they met online. Oh the nuances! Nina, I loved this post and all you said about meeting online friends. Meeting Allie was my furs gone, but I’m hoping for another this summer with someone local here in Chicago. BTW, Allie says BlogHer is in Chicago next year. Plan to come back to the motherland for it! : )
Mimi recently posted..Using His Force
Can’t wait to read your observations from the rest of your trip, including your little meetings.
Yes! Hard to explain to the kids, Mimi! And next time I’m in Chicago I’d love to try and get together for coffee.
I love this post for so many reasons. The picture of the two of you is great. You both look lovely.
I attended my first blogger’s conference earlier this year (mainly because it was local) and it proved overwhelming. Navigating and meeting 500 – 600 people isn’t a skill I possess. I met some lovely ladies, but this introvert is content with meeting people one on one.
Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri recently posted..Don’t Make the World Better
Yes– for sure a big conference is not ideal for an introvert. There’s SO MUCH conversation. It’s very draining.
I’ve never been to a blogging conference, but like you I’ve met bloggers when they’ve come through town (luckily Maine is a place that attracts lots of visitors!) and as I’ve traveled around the country. I feel really fortunate to have met almost ten in all — and I’ve talked on Skype to many more — some have become such good friends that it’s hard to remember that I met them via blogging. I hope that on my next trip x-country I’ll have the chance to meet you, Nina… in fact I’d love to meet up with all the Great New Books contributors!! It’s been such an unexpectedly wonderful side effect of blogging!
Julia Munroe Martin recently posted..Storybook Garden
I would LOVE to meet you! And I’ve read posts of yours when people have come to Maine. I always enjoy those.
I love Allie!! This is so awesome. I have family in MN and I always have a list of bloggers to meet in every state.
I’ve met a ton of bloggers, actually. At one conference and just through local meetups. I find that 9 times out of ten, the friendship turns “real.” I mean it already was, but in that way that you know you’d be friends anyway – even without the blogs. It’s an amazing art.
Tamara recently posted..An Awfully Big & Unscripted Adventure.
I hope you get here!!
I’ve met a handful of blogger friends in person, and it’s been absolutely wonderful. And I absolutely considered them friends even though we hadn’t met in person. One such friend was coming through NYC to get married and I was one of her witnesses. 🙂 It was the first time we’d met in person! There was no awkwardness at all.
I’ve never been to a blogger conference (it feels so intimidating), so I’ve met blogger friends only when they’re in town or if they live nearby.
I’ve thought many times about closing my blog, and what keeps me going is this connection with all of you. I know I would miss it.
Jackie Cangro recently posted..Friday Five (or More)
I feel the same way about closing it. It would be this huge hole, I think.
I make it to NYC sometimes and will for sure get in touch next time I do!
I would love that!
Jackie Cangro recently posted..The One With the Good Intentions
I’ve had this experience, and it’s wonderful! So happy for you! I wish you were going to BlogHer – I made the commitment and am heading to NYC from CA this year. Looking forward to connecting with my online friends – maybe you can go next year!
Jennifer Wolfe recently posted..It’s The Last Day of School – So Why Aren’t My Students Leaving?
Can’t wait to hear about it!
Lovely post and photo. (I keep hoping for your Muse & the Marketplace visit. Hopefully one day…)
Oh, that’s so nice! I’ve met a couple of bloggers from other places in real life, and have really enjoyed it. And my life has absolutely been enriched with all the different women (and a couple guys) I’ve met and interacted with. I have a nightly chavrusa with a women I’ve never met IRL, but we’ve been learning for, I don’t know, 9 months? A long time. And all because of blogging!
I’ve also never gone to a conference. I don’t know if I ever will, honestly. Maybe.
Rivki Silver recently posted..Do I Really Want Facebook to Just Be Pictures of Babies and Food?
I know how it feels. I’ve only met one blogging friend (Jennie!) and it was just as you described – it was the most natural thing in the world. Glad you met Allie!