Forgiving Someone Who Hasn’t Apologized

honey pot with title of the post

Forgiving Someone Who Has Not Apologized

I find the easiest part of this time of year in the Jewish calendar to be the commandment to ask others for forgiveness. And that is actually not that easy, but it’s infinitely less hard than letting go of a grudge, especially when the person you are upset with has not apologized.

For my Yom Kippur post on Kveller this year I wrote a personal and (hopefully helpful) essay about my struggle to stay “on point” this High Holiday season by focusing on my own shortcomings instead of dwelling on the few relationships that went in the wrong direction.

In other words, I’m trying to figure out how to let go of a few grudges.

It’s difficult, soul-searching work. Truly, it is. This commandment to reflect, apologize, and make our wrongs right in Judaism doesn’t come around every year without good reason.

Please join me at Kveller with “Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come.”


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Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.

Hi, I'm Nina

HI, I’M NINA BADZIN. I’m a writer fascinated by the dynamics of friendship, and I’ve been answering anonymous advice questions on the topic since 2014. I now also answer them on my podcast, Dear Nina! I’m a creative writing instructor at ModernWell in Minneapolis, a freelance writer and editor, and an avid reader who reviews 50 books a year. Welcome to my site! 

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Hi, I'm Nina

DEAR NINA: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast and newsletter about the ups and downs of adult friendship. I’m the host, Nina Badzin, a Minneapolis-based writer who accepted a position as a friendship advice columnist in 2014 and never stopped. DEAR NINA, the podcast, started in 2021, and has been referenced in The Wall Street JournalThe Washington PostTime Magazine, The GuardianThe Chicago TribuneThe Minneapolis Star Tribune, and elsewhere

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