I moved to Minnesota in June 2000 when I was 23-years-old and six months away from marrying Bryan. (We got married in December 2000 in Chicago, my hometown.)
I often tell people I was a child bride and that I’ve spent my entire “adult life” in Minneapolis. When I see other 23-year-olds now, I’m astounded that anyone thought I was old enough to get engaged, move to Bryan’s hometown, and make a new life in a place that held absolutely no meaning to me whatsoever. I’d only ever visited Minneapolis for one weekend—48 measly hours—while Bryan and I were dating in St. Louis before we moved here a year later. He drove me around the lakes at some point in the weekend, and I got the appeal, but I was by no means like, “Oh my goodness one day I must live here!”
While I was moving from St. Louis with a short pitstop in Chicago to grab some items from my childhood home, Bryan picked out our apartment at 14th and Marquette then flew to Chicago a few weeks later to gather me—and my car—and bring me to Minneapolis.
Yes, I see how that reads rather child-like. But that’s my point. I was young and wide-eyed and knew nothing about this place. We left Chicago in the late afternoon, and I liked how as we approached Minneapolis at 9:00PM, the sun was still out. I could make it work here, I thought. The idea of cold winters didn’t scare me. I was hardly from a pleasant weather town myself.
That first year was particularly lonely. In a pre-social media, pre-texting time, all I had for keeping in touch with old friends was email and real phone calls. Making new friends meant following every lead that came my way and physically getting out of our apartment. I had to put myself “out there” many times and ask people for plans—people, who, I couldn’t see until months later when they never reached out to me, were not remotely interested in getting to know me. Or even worse, got to know me, and were not interested at that point. Such is life. I’ve spent five years writing friendship advice to help others come to that same acceptance.
I have a terrible sense of direction and sometimes I cried when I found myself fifteen minutes in the wrong direction on multiple days in a row.
I can’t help but think about how some of those “moving to a new town” experiences would have been instantly solved, or at least made easier, by the technology we have now. The simplest one to employ–Google Maps or Waze. I would have asked on Facebook if anyone knew anyone in Minneapolis who could suggest places to live knowing I’d be in graduate school soon after at The University of Minnesota and knowing where Bryan would be working, and where we’d also be close enough to synagogues, etc. We would have had good options to look into within hours.
On the flip side, I would have found it easier to putz around Facebook and Instagram missing my old life and old friends rather than meeting new people and making Minneapolis my town. I’m grateful that I had put myself in uncomfortable situations.
There are many things I’ve grown to love about Minneapolis in my 19—NINETEEN!!—years here. I’ve now lived in Minneapolis longer than I ever lived in Chicago, which is hard to believe. Mostly, I appreciate the pace here. I feel like there’s room to breathe both physically and in a deeper sense. But what makes any place worth living is the people living there with you. I appreciate the extended family that came along with marrying Bryan and moving to his hometown, and I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made—some twenty years ago and some as recently as this summer. This is the place where I became a wife, a woman, a teacher, a writer, and a mother of four Minnesota-grown children. At this point, I can’t imagine living anywhere else. You’re stuck with me, Minnesota!
For past “What I’m Loving This Week” posts, look here.
Photo credit: Paul VanDerWerf via Flickr
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3 Responses
Doesn’t time go so fast, Nina?! What an adventure!
I love this post, Nina! I can relate to much of it. I’ve been in Atlanta for 19 years! Also, the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. And yet, I don’t consider myself a Georgian. How weird is that? I’ve only been to Minneapolis twice (and both times, in the summer!), but I certainly understand its appeal. It a beautiful city.
Wow, Nina, congrats on 20 years. Fun fact – my husband also chose our first flat (apartment) without me ever seeing it. Another fun fact – he has never been allowed to do so again. It was honestly awful – green gothy bathroom, a little kitchen nook, not even a kitchen and very loud neighbours on all sides. We stayed exactly as long as our lease lasted (6 months) and moved 🙂