The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact
Are you the friend who calls or texts first and reaches out for plans, or do you let your friends reach out first? In this episode with my guest, Pam Moore, we answer a letter from someone who is tired of making all the effort to get in touch or instigate plans. And as it turns out, some of the most popular internet searches leading to my website is the phrase, “My friend never initiates contact,” “My friend never texts first,” “My friend never makes plans first,” “Why do I always have to initiate plans first?”
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So obviously there are plenty of people out there feeling insecure about being the ones who initiate contact first and it makes them question whether the friendship is real or one worth continuing to pursue if it’s a newer friend. Pam and I spoke about what it’s like when you’re the friend who always initiates contact, or when you’re the friend who lets other people reach out first.
Meet Pam Moore
Pam Moore, who is an award winning freelance health and fitness writer with bylines in The Washington Post, Time, The Guardian, Runner’s World, Outside, and elsewhere. She’s also an occupational therapist, body positive health coach, certified personal trainer, and the host of The Real Fit podcast. Pam lives in Boulder Colorado with her husband and two daughters and she believes close friendships are a vital part of health and well-being. She’s been a longtime reader of my column and she’s what I call a close online friend who I’ve never met in person. Pam’s Twitter, Linked In, Instagram.
The question for this episode was read by Kristin Nilsen, co-host of The Pop Culture Preservation Society podcast. To be extra clear, she’s the reader of the question, not the writer of it. But she will also chimes in later in the episode to give her opinion on this issue, as does my producer, Dave Dluger.
BETTER FRIENDSHIP GOAL OF THE WEEK:
If you’re the friend who rarely makes the first contact, this week’s better friendship goal is to reach out first. It doesn’t have to be about making plans because maybe the person you have in mind lives out of town. It can be to say hi and check in. That’s it!
Thank you to producer, Dave Dluger.
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