Friendship and Sobriety With Guest Jen Gilhoi

 

Friendship and Sobriety

Welcome to episode #17 of Dear Nina: Conversations about Friendship. In this episode I spoke to Jen Gilhoi about sobriety, from addiction to all levels of sober living and how friendships transition and sometimes completely phase out in early sobriety. 

FIND EPISODE #17 ON APPLE PODCASTSSPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS! 

About Jen

Photo credit: Belu Photography

Jen Gilhoi is an event experience strategist and founder of Sparktrack, and recently launched AddWomxn to create inclusive spaces and elevate BIPOC creatives. In her life and work she is fascinated with the art of gathering and intentional conversations. She especially loves lingering behind and reliving moments others have long since moved on from. It’s in her DNA.

In 2014, she moved on from active addiction and began a sober lifestyle. As an introvert and moderate empath, she’s discovered that the written word is her avenue to invite others into inquiry and shatter stigmas around addiction. To further that passion, she’s a board member of Dissonance, an organization that promotes mental health and recovery in and through the arts. She also shares her experiences in blog and short story format as an invitation to others to engage in healthy self and societal inquiry to heal and be well.

A recent piece on Jen’s site compares her relationship with alcohol to first a friend and then a friendship breakup. In Jen’s words, “Alcohol personifies a friend in this piece that touches on how cunning, baffling, and powerful it is as it wraps itself into one’s identity, making the breakup unbearable.”

We discussed:

— Jen gave some context to her own story of starting to drink in her late teens and not enjoying the taste, but enjoying how it made her feel. We discussed alcohol as the center of a lot of social outings in college and beyond. At age 40 as the stakes got higher for Jen’s life, she started working on sobriety and at 42 was completely sober.

— We discussed whether people in recovery want to be congratulated for their sober anniversaries.

— How can people unpair activities formerly tied to alcohol like making dinner, for example?

Are the different friendships compartmentalized — sober friends and others? 

— While the sober individual has come through trauma, those who support someone through addiction and recovery also experience pain. How does that factor in? What is the healing process to sustain those friendships going forward? 

— What is the best thing we can do as supportive friends of those living a sober life?


FIND EPISODE #17 ON APPLE PODCASTSSPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS! 


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Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.

2 Responses

  1. I have 18 yrs of a sober life and related to this story. thanks for sharing. I appreciate her honesty and found it inspiring and touching.

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Hi, I'm Nina

HI, I’M NINA BADZIN. I’m a writer fascinated by the dynamics of friendship, and I’ve been answering anonymous advice questions on the topic since 2014. I now also answer them on my podcast, Dear Nina! I’m a creative writing instructor at ModernWell in Minneapolis, a freelance writer and editor, and an avid reader who reviews 50 books a year. Welcome to my site! 

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Hi, I'm Nina

DEAR NINA: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast and newsletter about the ups and downs of adult friendship. I’m the host, Nina Badzin, a Minneapolis-based writer who accepted a position as a friendship advice columnist in 2014 and never stopped. DEAR NINA, the podcast, started in 2021, and has been referenced in The Wall Street JournalThe Washington PostTime Magazine, The GuardianThe Chicago TribuneThe Minneapolis Star Tribune, and elsewhere

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