Conflicts in friendships can feel so daunting, but sometimes we have to tell friends they’ve let us down rather than distancing ourselves and ignoring calls and texts. (A tactic too many of us use.) Here to help is Dr. Marissa G Franco, author of the instant NYT bestseller, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends. Dr. Franco will help us learn what to say to friends when there’s conflict and how to hear it when friends are upset with us, too. We also delve into attachment theory and its significance in understanding our emotions and behaviors in friendships.
The summer (virtual) gathering of the Dear Nina Book Club is coming on July 24th at 7PM CST. I’d love to see you!
This time we’re discussing—Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends by Marisa G. Franco, Ph.D. Sign up at ninabadzin.com/bookclub/
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Meet Dr. Marisa G. Franco
An enlightening psychologist and national speaker, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and her forthcoming book Platonic: How The Science of AttachmentCan Help You Make—and Keep—Friends debuts with Penguin Random House in September 2022. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities across the country, including Harper Collins Publishers, Cisco, American Association for the Advancement of Science, and The Department of State. On her Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), you can find more friendship tips, and on her website, www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, you can find a free quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend.
Topics We Covered:
From the book: “Sharing anger conveys that we’re trustworthy enough to be upfront and invested enough to confront. Conflict with friends can restore and even deepen our friendships.”
Marisa Franco in the episode:
“We need to use anger as a symbol to heal something, rather than push it away. Because what happens when we push it away is that there were so many junctures where we could have healed something and we didn’t, and then it gets to be too much. We’ve accumulated too many grudges. And at that point, all we feel we can do is withdraw from the friendship. And that’s why expressing our anger in a certain type of way is a portal to healing the friendship.”
“When friends brings up an issue with us, remember it as an act of love. They are giving us an opportunity to reconcile. They’re giving us enlightenment as to how we can do better as a friend. And that’s gold. How rare do we get that in our interactions?”
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Latest posts by Nina Badzin (see all)
- Dear Nina in The Guardian - May 1, 2024
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- Dear Nina in The Wall Street Journal - April 27, 2024
- 5 Friendship Issues to Consider Addressing with a Therapist - April 17, 2024
