Sometimes we hurt a friend unintentionally, but an apology is still in order. Is there a friend out there who might be waiting for you to say, “I’m sorry?” Are you ready to forgive the friend who comes to you with an apology?
This is the episode where we encourage you to think about forgiveness—asking for it and granting it.
Who is we? I finally have MY MOM back on the show! We encouraged each other to think about the friends we might have hurt without realizing we have done so. We also talked about grudges and shared some personal stories of our own pettiness, others’ pettiness, and we laughed a bit too.
Naturally the timing of this episode is inspired by the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but the discussion is valuable and relatable no matter your background–Jewish OR NOT.
Join us as we navigate this special time of year dedicated to self-reflection and saying we’re sorry, inspiring you to reconsider your relationships and how you handle grudges and forgiveness.
Quotes and resources we mentioned:
The 20 questions Bryan uses for self-reflection around Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
The article I wrote for Kveller in 2014, “Waiting For an Apology That Will Never Come”
The article I wrote for The Jewish Daily Forward in 2013, “The Benefit of the Doubt for the New Year”
If you want the challah recipe I use all the time and wrote about in this essay at On Being, email me at ninabadzinblog@gmail.com. I will send you the pdf version.
Other episodes featuring my mom:
- The Friend Who Will Only Text
- When Friends Ask Questions You Don’t Want to Answer
- Widowhood and Friendship
Two quotes by Maggie Smith in her book, Keep Moving:
“Maybe we say ‘holding a grudge’ because that kind of resentment is a heavy thing you have to wrap your arms around to carry. Holding it weighs you down, not the other person. Set it down anytime. Right now, for instance. Keep moving.”
“Expect that what you tend to will grow. Expect that what you feed with your care and attention, what you shine your light on, will thrive. Choose wisely. Keep moving.”
Quote from my mom on grudges:
“Well, you’ve heard this before. People say that holding a grudge weighs you down, not the other person. So that’s how forgiveness is tied into grudge holding. If you can forgive somebody and keep moving forward, it’s much better for you psychologically.”
FIND EPISODE #72 ANYWHERE YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS!
Signup for my newsletter on friendship, books, TV, and more.
Let’s connect!
- Here’s my Substack newsletter about friendship & more
- Instagram, TikTok, Twitter
- JOIN the Dear Nina Facebook group
- Ask an anonymous question
If you like what you’re hearing, please tell a friend!
Also, if you can rate and/or leave a review on Apple Podcasts, I’d be so grateful.
Latest posts by Nina Badzin (see all)
- Dear Nina in The Guardian - May 1, 2024
- Overtalking, Undertalking, and Lessons for Friendships in the Art of Storytelling - April 30, 2024
- Dear Nina in The Wall Street Journal - April 27, 2024
- 5 Friendship Issues to Consider Addressing with a Therapist - April 17, 2024
