First Rehearsal: Listen to Your Mother

Being Part of The Listen To Your Mother Cast

I’m a little too good at keeping my world small and simple. It’s a control thing. I suffer from the need for that– for the sense, however false, that I have a handle on all the spinning plates, that nothing will blindside me.

I’ve always been like that, even before I had kids. Whatever tiny inclination of adventure and spontaneity I had before I became a mom is mostly gone now.

But I’m not complaining about this stage of my life. When I was sixteen I used to feel not quite like a “normal” teenager. I liked going to Broadway shows, or the sushi restaurant near my house, or staying in with friends or my boyfriend to watch a movie. I loved to read. I genuinely hated doing “cool kid” stuff like looking for a party. I felt the same way in college. I think I was always sort waiting for the time when it was socially acceptable to just be boring old ME.

And here I am at 36. I love it! I feel so lucky that I get to be a mom, a wife, a writer and a member of my community. I know that the thirty-something heroine of every novel and sitcom inevitably complains about living in the suburbs; complains about how bored they are, etc. As it turns out, I’m very well-suited for suburban Mom life. It’s 100% my speed and I would not trade any part of it.

Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

However, like I said, I am a bit too good at keeping my world and my “community” small. I feel put out if I have to drive more than fifteen minutes away from my house or my kids’ schools. I have a mini-anxiety attack if I’m going somewhere unfamiliar and I get lost or I don’t know where to park and so on. I’m completely ungraceful about last minute schedule changes for my kids or for me. Believe me, I realize that this nervous-nelliness is not among my most attractive qualities.

People might not understand what I’m saying because here I am with this blog where I often express my  opinion about this, that and everything. I’m not saying that I’m uncomfortable “putting myself out there” when it comes to the computer screen or the printed page. I’m saying that given the choice between staying home and traveling I would pick STAY HOME every single time. I could eat the same thing every day for a month. See the same people. Do the same exercise. It’s a physical “smallness” and simpleness I’m talking about.

Scary to Audition!

I tell you all of this to explain why it was a BIG DEAL that I auditioned for Listen to Your Mother (a live show with readings about motherhood started by writer and blogger Ann Imig in Madison in 2010 that has been produced in increasingly more cities for the past three years, but is coming to the Twin Cities for the first time on May 9th).

Around 75 writers in the Twin Cities submitted essays. Thirty-five of us were asked to audition. The audition entailed reading our pieces to the directors and producers in a random warehouse in St. Paul. I’m not kidding when I say that shlepping to and finding that random warehouse was harder for me than the actual audition.

I was thrilled, but also nervous when I learned that I’d earned a spot in the cast of fourteen. I worried that my essay would seem silly compared to the others. I worried that some unforeseen issue would keep me from the rehearsals, which were in neither a location nor on a day of the week that fits into my life in any way whatsoever. I worried I’d lose my spot if I couldn’t make it. Or worse, I’d keep my spot, but have no idea what I was doing. I’m still completely anxious about figuring out the schedule for the day of the show. Don’t I sound like a barrel of fun?

The entire process has reminded me how easy-breezy I keep my life and how important it is to push myself  to do new things, to figuratively and literally drive out of my way.

The good news is that I made the rehearsal last weekend with no problems! I can’t tell you what a fantastic show this will be and how honored I am to read my work among the heartfelt words of these other writers. There are laughs in the show and plenty of tears. I’m excited to be part of a new community of women I would never have met in my otherwise “simple” life.

black and white photos of First rehearsal. Photos by Tracy Morrison.
First rehearsal. Photos by Tracy Morrison.

 

black white and red listen to your mother logo and poster

The following two tabs change content below.
Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She's been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.

81 Responses

  1. Was having the rehearsal at your house an option?! Kidding!

    I often say, “I don’t have a schema for that” which is my catch phrase to explain that I feel anxious when outside of my routine. I know how hard it can be.

    I think with this show in particular…it will be worth it.
    Vikki recently posted..Twenty YearsMy Profile

  2. That is awesome! It sounds like a very cool show, and kudos to you for doing something out of your norm. As a fellow creature of habit, this is inspiring.

  3. You go girl! My next blog post is going to be about my attempts at becoming more spontaneous. Boy can I relate to your homebody ways. It’s all about wanting order and control, isn’t it? Mazel tov. Stay tuned…

  4. I think I was always sort waiting for the time when it was socially acceptable to just be boring old ME.

    I SO relate to this. Nina I’m so thrilled you’re a part of LTYM!!!

  5. Sounds wonderful and like a lot of fun! I wish I could go and see you! But it was so good to read your post because I’m exactly the same. I’m so boring compared to some of my more adventurous friends who go to some party or art opening every other night but I like my routine and my boring nights at home reading or catching up on my favorite TV series. But I get it, once in a while, we “boring-control-people” have to push ourselves to discover new things, make new friends and make new experiences-even if they seem scary or out of our way, at first. Enjoy the experience and have fun!
    Susan recently posted..Stuck/UnstuckMy Profile

  6. I totally relate. If I have something exciting on my plate, my joy is usually equaled out by my nerves regarding all the schedule-changes, directions, parking, babysitting, etc. (Especially directions and parking.) I think giving in to my desire for routine can make that desire even stronger, though, so kudos to you for breaking out of the everyday.

    And congratulations on making it on the air!

    1. Rebecca, I’m so glad someone can relate. YES- the babysitting is a huge factor too. Sometimes something starts before my husband can get home, but I don’t want to waste someone’s time coming for just an hour. Etc. etc. You know the drill.

      And thank you, too, re: the radio!

  7. Nina Nina Nina.

    You are sooooo fabulous. ANd, of course, they wanted you to be part of the show.

    Because.

    Because?

    Because you have that voice. You have those words. You just do.

    And I wish I could be in New York and Kansas City and Minneapolis and all over the damn place so I could hear everyone do their thing this year. But I’ll be at a bar mitzvah in the Berkshires that weekend. And I couldn’t miss it.

    So push through it for me. For all of us who WISH we could be there, but can’t. I can’t wait to SEE and HEAR you on YouTube. Does that freak you out? It shouldn’t. You’ll be so yummy, I’ll want to eat you up. Everyone will. Especially your mother.
    Renee A. Schuls-Jacobson recently posted..Are You Techno-Squeamish?My Profile

  8. I really, really feel that we’re the same person sometimes. I totally get this smallness you speak of, this need to be same-same, not venturing out to unfamiliar places, and if I have to, I have to plan, plan, plan and still get all Nervous Nelly.

    So I truly applaud you for doing this, and I’m so excited for you!!
    Alison recently posted..Writing And Making Money? Sure, Where Do I Sign Up?My Profile

    1. I love that you can relate. It’s funny– something like a blog conference or a writing conference doesn’t intimidate me because it’s usually all in one place! I can totally handle shuffling around a hotel. 😉

  9. Kudos, Nina! That is really fantastic news. I admire you putting yourself out there like that, and if I were in the area, I would definitely attend.

    And like another commenter wrote, this really spoke to me: “I’m not saying that I’m uncomfortable “putting myself out there” when it comes to the computer screen or the printed page. I’m saying that given the choice between staying home and traveling I would pick STAY HOME every single time.”

    My professional world is filled with evening networking events. I have gotten very good at generating new excuses on why I don’t attend them; it’s another form of creative writing!
    Patrick Ross recently posted..Own Your Identity as an ArtistMy Profile

  10. I just finished a great newly-released book on life in a small community that you might enjoy. Rod Dreher’s The Little Way of Ruthie Leming: A Southern Girl, a Small Town, and the Secret of a Good Life.

  11. I think you were actually talking about me in your blog post- we must be soul sisters. I keep my world “small” as well, and could be perfectly happy, as you said, eating the same foods (I think, at one point in my life, I ate oatmeal every day for breakfast for, like, seven years- no joke), doing the same things day to day, etc… Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone! As painful as it may be, I’m certain you won’t regret it!

  12. Awesome. Double awesome. Triple awesome! Are they taping it? I so wish I could see it! This is truly inspiring – I feel the EXACT same way – definitely been middle-aged since before I was even born. While I love silliness and travel and adventure, I like it on MY terms (under my control), and EVERYTHING makes me nervous! And getting on stage?! Hoo! One of my biggest fears. You are AMAZING, and I know you’ll be great!
    Jules recently posted..Let the Conversation Continue! Also the Drinking.My Profile

    1. I love that you still use the expression “taping it” like it’s 1991 and we’ll be watching said tape on the VCR. 😉

      The stage part I’m less nervous about than all the details leading up to it. I’m weird, I know.

      It will be on YouTube!

  13. You are going to do awesome! And I’m so glad you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s always a tough thing to do but after you’ve done it, it usually feels great. Plus your kids are seeing you get out there and conquering your “uncomfortableness” of the world around you. Yay Nina!

    I’m proud to know you and can’t wait to read your essay because you ARE going to share it with your BFF’s who can’t be there, right? 🙂

    xo
    Hallie Sawyer recently posted..Books I’ve Just Finished and What’s Next on my NightstandMy Profile

    1. It will be on YouTube! Meanwhile, I cannot wait to hear about your experience at the Muse and Marketplace conference. I’m expecting tons of details. I wrote two posts about it after I went in early 2011. I was newly pregnant with Nate. Can’t believe how much time as passed. He’s 17 months old!

  14. Yay you!

    Weirdly, I like how unapologetic you are about your simple life (which I bet I wouldn’t think was simple at all). I wish we could all own our natural tendencies so well (and articulately). The weird part is I’m also super excited for you and proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone.

    Wish I was close enough to be there. Hopefully, there will be a way to see/hear the show online?

    Congratulations and good luck!
    j recently posted..In this fragile sacred spaceMy Profile

  15. Congrats, Nina! I know what you’re talking about. I’m an introvert who would be happy to stay in my quiet little cottage by the sea, lost in novels for the rest of my life. Being with people is stress for me. The more people, the more stress. But I constantly push myself. Because I know that stagnation is slow death. And that in order to get what you’ve never had, you need to do what you’ve never done. Which is always going to be out of my comfort zone. Good luck with the presentation!
    Anne R. Allen recently posted..Author Etiquette 101: Do’s and Don’ts for Writers Using Social MediaMy Profile

    1. I love this right here: “And that in order to get what you’ve never had, you need to do what you’ve never done.” That is very true.

      So I think I finally figured out how to comment on your blog. Did the Google option work?

  16. You. Are. Awesome.

    And I understand exactly what you mean about keeping your world “physically” small. I, too, am comfortable with my local life; the people, places and experiences that are familiar to me.

    I live 15 minutes from my childhood home and taught at the high school I attended. Where my father was made principal. So yeah. I get it. Hard.

    And therefore, I am extra (EXTRA) proud of you.

    Because I know this challenge well.
    And I also believe you will be extraordinary.

    Break a leg, Nina. And soak it up.
    For all of us who are still home on the couch 🙂

    1. Thank you, Julie! That means so much. I’m always thinking about you settling into a new house or maybe settling back into the old house. Hope you guys are doing okay!

  17. Nina,
    Each and every one of us shares these feelings about being different than we think we “should” be. But as I tell my yogis, “You are exactly the way you are supposed to be.” I admire how organized and on top of things you are and how you know your limits and are not afraid to assert them. I, on the other hand, often over-commit myself, say yes to things that I shouldn’t, and find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have already learned a lot from you, in the short amount of time we’ve known each other, and you certainly did not keep yourself closed off when you reached out to connect with me (for which I am eternally grateful). Furthermore, you have put yourself out there in ways that involve taking risks and having courage. Like the Listen to Your Mother event, which I am so excited to attend! I think a lot of us writers do a good job of hiding behind our words (well, at least I do!), but you, my friend, are not hiding, and you are both brave and inspirational! (And P.S., I feel that when I have to drive from Minnetonka to St. Paul, it is like driving to California…and I am from St. Paul!)

  18. I wish I could be there! This sounds like so much fun. We had one in Austin and I would’ve loved to audition but I found out about it too late (next year, perhaps).

    I’m really glad you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone to do this. Some of the most rewarding experiences of my life have come when I stepped out of my pre-set boundaries. It’s scary, but worth it in the end!

    Good luck! And share video if there’s video!
    Natalia Sylvester recently posted..Fresh Ink: An Interview with Debut Novelist Melanie ThorneMy Profile

  19. Another major milestone, Nina. Congrats. It sounds like a great deal of fun and who cares if you had to get out of your comfort zone 🙂 Tell me that there will be a youtube.com video that I can see? Or ask if one of the producers is considering that venue? Okay … I’ll leave you with a tiny confession. I ate tomatoe soup every night for my senior year in high school !!
    florence fois recently posted..Changes …My Profile

  20. Wow, Nina. So excited for you to be a part of this and that you clearly reached outside your comfort zone. And look at the reward: a wonderful, caring community!

    I DID have to laugh about your feeling “put out if I have to drive more than fifteen minutes away.” ANY social outing for me is 45-minutes, MINIMUM, usually. 😉

    I’m so excited to hear more!
    Melissa Crytzer Fry recently posted..A Bunch of BuzzMy Profile

  21. Nina,
    I love this and I am really glad you stepped out and took a chance on yourself and on life. I relate to you because I love being a married homemaker, and enjoy staying home. I keep life simple and in today’s world I think that is a plus and not a minus. Congratulations!
    Brenda Marroy recently posted..Ahnvee, Coshon, and My Cajun LifeMy Profile

  22. You will be great – I so wish I could come see your show. I, too, auditioned for the Northwest Arkansas show. While I didn’t make the final cut, I am beyond flattered that I was simply asked to audition. Reading for something like this is definitely out of my comfort zone, so I understand exactly how you feel. Hopefully I will hone my skills so I can earn a spot next year – I truly love the idea of this show!
    Dawn recently posted..A Dead Gull and a Map of the World – National Poetry Month, 2013My Profile

  23. Nina, so excited for you & your piece on LTYM, a show/movement that I heart very much. Will look forward to (hopefully? a podcast?) hearing (or reading) it, and hearing about the entire experience for you. I’d love to bring LTYM here to Rochester, and hope to submit our city when the call goes out!

    Hope you’re well… you continue to inspire!
    Monica Gebell recently posted..A Bad Week to Go Off-GridMy Profile

  24. Wow, Nina. Reading this is like reading about myself! “I think I was always sort waiting for the time when it was socially acceptable to just be boring old ME.” That’s just exactly how I often feel. I choose staying in over going out any night of the week. Which is why I understand how much it cost you to step out of your box and try this new thing, and I am so impressed. Good for you, my friend. I know you’re going to be fantastic!!
    Annie Neugebauer recently posted..A Guest Post + 2 PoemsMy Profile

  25. What an exciting experience, Nina!!!
    I think you’re probably just very happy with yourself, and your life. Nothing wrong with that! But yea, it’s still good to try something new now and then, just to get the blood going and remember what unfamiliar feels like. Good for you! 😀

    1. That’s my interpretation, too. I’m happy with my life, but YES, I think it’s important to shake things up now and then. Thanks for popping in, Cynthia!

  26. Congratulations! It’s so exciting that you put yourself out there and took a risk. I can totally relate to settling into my comfort zone. You know why? It’s comfortable. 🙂 I like comfortable. It’s a good pair of slippers, but every now and then, it’s good to put on a pair of heels and step out in a different way.

    I read that you mentioned the show will be available on You Tube. Would you add a link to a future post?
    Jackie Cangro recently posted..Vendredi Cinq (Friday Five) From MontrealMy Profile

  27. First off, mazel tov on being part of this! That’s fabulous! Yay!

    I can relate 1000% to everything you wrote about keeping life small and simple, and not wanting to go off and party, and loving the staying-at-home life. It’s nice to see so many other women feel the same way. Yay to the internet for letting all us homebodies interact with each other. 🙂

    I wish I were in Minneapolis to see you. Hatzlacha raba! I’m sure you’ll be fabulous! <3
    Rivki Silver recently posted..Why I’m Indoctrinating My Children (And Why You Are Too)My Profile

  28. I wish I could make it, but I know that you’re going to be amazing!

    I feel that way sometime. Mostly when I have to travel from St Paul to Minneapolis. It seems like the end of the universe and yet it really isn’t at all. We get so used to our little necks of the woods were everything is close and comfortable and known.
    Marta recently posted..Sunshine and Happiness.My Profile

  29. What a wonderful opportunity, Nina! I am absolutely certain your essay is fabulous, no doubt one of the best. Your writing is always spot on and incredibly entertaining. As for the worry going in (and your comment “don’t I sound like a barrel of fun?”)… I’m afraid I’d have been just the same way. I’m so glad it went well! Break a leg!
    Julia Munroe Martin recently posted..Coming by it HonestlyMy Profile

  30. I loved reading this, Nina! I am in the LTYM Denver show- ours is Tuesday! I totally related to what a leap auditioning for the show is, as I tend to stay in my comfort zone. I am really glad I ventured out there, however, as this group of writers is incredible and being a part of LTYM has become one of the most satisfying experiences I have had as a writer. Excited for your essay tomorrow on The HerStories Project!
    Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. recently posted..Weekly Wrap-Up: The HerStories Project, I Had PMS, and I’m Afraid of BugsMy Profile

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hi, I'm Nina

HI, I’M NINA BADZIN. I’m a writer fascinated by the dynamics of friendship, and I’ve been answering anonymous advice questions on the topic since 2014. I now also answer them on my podcast, Dear Nina! I’m a creative writing instructor at ModernWell in Minneapolis, a freelance writer and editor, and an avid reader who reviews 50 books a year. Welcome to my site! 

Get The Newsletter

I send an email once or twice a month with the latest friendship letters, podcast episodes, book reviews, recipes, and more.

Hi, I'm Nina

DEAR NINA: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast and newsletter about the ups and downs of adult friendship. I’m the host, Nina Badzin, a Minneapolis-based writer who accepted a position as a friendship advice columnist in 2014 and never stopped. DEAR NINA, the podcast, started in 2021, and has been referenced in The Wall Street JournalThe Washington PostTime Magazine, The GuardianThe Chicago TribuneThe Minneapolis Star Tribune, and elsewhere

Get The Newsletter

I send emails through Substack with the latest anonymous friendship letters, podcast episodes, book reviews, and more.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.