Welcome to another episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. I’m your host, Nina Badzin.
In episode 41, I spoke to narrative coach, Lisa Harris, about the sometimes-fuzzy lines between “work friends” and “real friends” and also the line people cross between friend and customer. In other words, treating your friends like your customers. Not a good idea!
MEET LISA HARRIS
Lisa Harris is an author, storyteller, narrative coach, and the CEO/founder of Lisa Harris & Company. Lisa’s entrepreneurial journey began in 2016 after publishing her book, Unveiled Beauty: Handwritten Stories From a Poetic Heart. She spent 18 years in executive leadership roles working for and with many Fortune 500 companies and nationally recognized brands. Today Lisa successfully guides women on their personal growth and empowerment journeys through the lens of their own life stories. Lisa is in her 6th year producing Unveiled Beauty events, narrative coaching and speaking. She is also the co-host of the Life In Our Skin podcast.
Find Lisa on LinkedIn: Lisa Harris, Facebook: Lisa Harris & Company and Instagram: @lisaharrisandcompany
FIND EPISODE #41 ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS!
Highlights from my conversations with Lisa:
— Lisa and loosely defined “work friends” in this conversation as not only people you see in an office, but fellow entrepreneurs and/or creatives who may do similar work–so you brainstorm and share ideas and can get really close. But whether you have a friendship outside of that career talk can be confusing.
— It can be natural to go from leaning on someone for professional advice to leaning on that person for personal advice. Sometimes that’s a welcome transition to friendship, but sometimes it’s not. This is where we have to pick up cues. Is this person taking you up on offers to hang out outside of work? Is this person making it clear that their outside-of-work life is too full? Are you the person that needs to set boundaries if you’re wanting a relationship to stay in the “work only” zone?
— We both advised not burning a bridge. Maybe you’re not open to a real friendship now, but perhaps in time you will change your mind. And the opposite is true. Someone may be setting boundaries with you now, but they could be open later. Don’t act standoffish when your first request for coffee outside of work stuff is denied.
— There is nothing wrong with trying to take a work friend to another level of friendship. Work is often where we meet friends!
— We talked about Julie Burton and Stephanie Pierce’s friendship and how they discussed in episode 31 how long it took to go from work friends to real friends.
— People who have careers that involve selling anything, asking people to read or listen to work, or to show up at events need to be very careful about not overtaxing their friends’ time and attention. Yes, friends should be supportive, but there is such a thing as expecting too much. Don’t confuse your friends with your customers or treat your friends as if they’re your customers, fans, or “followers.” This relates closely to an anonymous question I covered recently on my Substack.
— If you have a friend inviting you to tons of work-related events, you can say you’re thrilled to support them and that you’re excited to come to two this year. Ask them to let you know which two would help the most.
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Latest posts by Nina Badzin (see all)
- Dear Nina in The Guardian - May 1, 2024
- Overtalking, Undertalking, and Lessons for Friendships in the Art of Storytelling - April 30, 2024
- Dear Nina in The Wall Street Journal - April 27, 2024
- 5 Friendship Issues to Consider Addressing with a Therapist - April 17, 2024
