The Special Friends Who Become Like Family and The Ways Friends Show Up
I loved my conversation with Pennsylvania-based author Rachel Levy Lesser, and I have to say, I REALLY enjoyed her memoir, Life’s Accessories. In the episode, we discussed the context of her memoir and the difficulty of losing her mother so soon after Rachel had her first child. We talked about how close Rachel was with her mom and the ways friends stepped up for her when her mom was sick with cancer and when her mom passed away. We also covered the ways friends showed up for me when my dad died in December, at a much different stage of my life. It was a really touching conversation, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know Rachel even more since we recorded. Real life friend-making in action!
FIND EPISODE #21 ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS! You can also listen below.
Friends are the family you choose—> Maybe it’s something you’ve seen in a greeting card or a wall plaque in a cute boutique. And I agree with it! When friendship is done well, in its best moments when people show up when in good times and bad, even when it’s inconvenient, friends can be the family you choose.
Now of course there’s the opposite idea that blood is thicker than water is something people say too, but we don’t have to declare it’s only one or the other. We can cherish family AND friends. But I do think that friendships since we choose them, can feel extra special when you can count on those people like you would with family. Which is of course what’s so hurtful when we have friendship breakups, when people choose to NOT be in our lives, but that’s for another episode.
Welcome to Rachel Levy Lesser!
Rachel Levy Lesser is the author of Life’s Accessories, A Memoir (And Fashion Guide) Her articles and essays have appeared in The Huffington Post, Glamour.com, Parenting.com, Kveller and Modern Loss, among others. Rachel’s work has also been featured in the anthologies, Letters from Motherless Daughters and Moms Don’t Have Time To. She is a Summa Cum Laude graduate of The University of Pennsylvania and received her MBA from the Ross School of Business at The University of Michigan. In a previous life, Rachel worked at Time Inc. on magazines including InStyle, People and Real Simple. She is currently the host of Blaze Baking With Rach, on A Mighty Blaze, where she interviews authors as she bakes with them. When not writing or baking, Rachel can be found practicing yoga, knitting scarves and wearing them. Rachel lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two teenage children.
Key takeaways
— Showing up can create the feeling of closeness where a friend can feel like a family after the showing up, even if the friendship didn’t seem to be at that level already.
— If you’re not sure whether to show up to a friend’s family member’s funeral, shiva, etc., just go. You won’t regret it. If you can’t go, there are of course other ways to “show up.”
— It can be hard to ask friends for favors, but doing it creates closeness and friends are so much willing to help than you might think. And if you’re family doesn’t live nearby, it’s something you have to get used to doing.
— Saying “friends are the family you choose” doesn’t mean your family stinks! Though for some people, that might be the case and in those situations, friends are even that much more crucial.
BETTER FRIENDSHIP GOAL OF THE WEEK
If you have friends like this in your life, tell them how much you appreciate them!
FIND EPISODE 21 ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS!
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